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How does Jesus help? I though he was on a forever vacation.

Very true.

I'm out of thoughts and prayers. How about some jokes or a riddle?... George Carling was the greatest!

....oh OK, very nice Mr...what did you said your name was?

Oh, one last question before we give you a pilots license, have you or will you have in the future a husband or wife or close relatively living in captivity at the moment?

Is the captivity legal or illegal, please explain.

Have had to purchase a rope ladder or just copious amounts of rope from the home Depot recently?

I'm sure all the hardworking engineers, assemblers, office workers, sales people, materials, programmers, hardware, research people are super ecstatic about having their CEO turn their brand new product from an awesome big ass piece of shit electric washed environment destruction truck into a product nobody wants.

Like probably you'll see one of my fellow citizens running around town with a bunch of lawn mowers and leaf blowers in one of these pretty soon. How much did you pay for that shit man? Oh I got it cheap on Craigslist for $3K!

Colbert didn't even break a sweat.

I just bought a huffy at goodwill for $50 with dual suspension! Buying a bike will never be the same.

He also wants a visible reproductive organ of satisfactory size. We can all dream.

Good news everyone!!!!!

Microsoft Ctrl-C copy is now fully AI!

He doesn't care. He wants it to tank because then he can buy it out and go fully private again.

Look mah! I fixed the laptop! You just go here, pick a new laptop and they send you one right away! In the mail! Its just 14,000,000 Google points! Pretty cheap right?

Its solves a Google problem....how can it get more of your money?

Doggie wallet! You give your pet a monthly Google allowance to spend on Google, and then watch how happy he is to spend it on fortnight and rowblox.