this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
484 points (91.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26660 readers
3322 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
484
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by nave@lemmy.zip to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FoundTheVegan@kbin.social 251 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Fake for any of those wondering.

But keeping employees based on how many lines of code they have written, which he did, is essentially the same logic.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 21 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Ernest Hemingway was paid by the word, which shows in his work. I imagine this pay structure would have a similar effect on how people code.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would do so poorly there, in many ways …. I love those days when my lines of code is negative

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Alchemy@lemmy.world 200 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Employee that was mining crypto on the side is hella stoked at this news.

[–] Really_long_toes@lemmy.world 61 points 10 months ago

Meanwhile his mate sitting across from him was gpu mining

[–] jecht360@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Probably mining dogecoin or something else Musk would like.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 140 points 10 months ago (2 children)

So, the bonus goes to the guy who was playing Factorio when he should have been working?

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Isn't Factorio very optimized, not in the sense that it uses all system resources completely, but in the sense that it has very efficient code enabling millions of operations and increasing without needing much more system resources to scale it?

I would definitely go with Arma in this case. Although it has very heavy calculations for a lot of things to start with, it can't scale well and cause CPU bottleneck very soon.

[–] dfc09@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Factorio definitely taxes CPU usage heavily if you're building a mega base. Don't get me wrong, it's gotta be a big ass base, but you could just import somebody's monstrosity and run it in the background.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 10 months ago

It is pretty well optimized. I think it might not be, like, genius-level amazing, but the devs care about performance and worked to improve it.

In the end though, it's a game where the entire map (as generated so far) is simulated - I think there's cases where chunks go to sleep, but it's not Minecraft's "stop simulating anything not next to a player". When combined with players building lots of machines moving many, many items around, you'll inevitably end up with some serious CPU usage. Not a problem on a decent computer, but I have had friends struggle on weak laptops, even getting dropped as they literally couldn't keep up with the server.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] horndogAI@sh.itjust.works 137 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’m glad to hear this is fake but it seemed 100% believable to me

[–] homesnatch@lemm.ee 102 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The part where it said "Christmas Bonus" should have been the tip off...

[–] extant@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's because you assume it means financial reward but the real reward is the privilege to serve the company, what a bonus!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 13 points 10 months ago

That's the joke.

Elon is so random and unpredictable that you can make up just about anything about him and nobody will really know if it's satire or not....

[–] Conyak@lemmy.tf 95 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I assume this is fake since no one at X is getting a Christmas bonus.

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 11 points 10 months ago

it was edited from "salary" to "christmas bonus"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] amzd@kbin.social 74 points 10 months ago

I love receiving a bonus for mining Bitcoin on company hardware

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 64 points 10 months ago (1 children)

cat /dev/urandom | grep "dickhead"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Tischkante@discuss.tchncs.de 54 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  1. Write batch file listing the contents of c: recursively and changing to c:\windows doing it again, then loop.

  2. ???

  3. Employee of the century, free brothel on mars.

[–] Krafting@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Just exec a fork bomb

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] norgur@discuss.tchncs.de 48 points 10 months ago

So those who misuse company assets to enrich themselves b mining crypto get rewarded by larger bonuses? Sounds like the way the world works for those super rich fellas like Elon "Edgelord" Musk.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I so hope this is fake, because this is so stupid, even by Space Karen standards.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Wasn't he firing people based on number of, or lack of, code commits at one point? Even if this isn't real, it's still very on-brand.

[–] odium@programming.dev 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Lines of code too iirc. This is about equally accurate.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My most productive days have ended with negative LOC. It's such a trash metric that only someone that's never been a developer could dream up.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MentallyExhausted@reddthat.com 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That’s what this is satirizing, yeah

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 40 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 50 points 10 months ago

I can't even tell anymore

His entire life is a shitpost incarnate, and not a very good one

[–] skankhunt42@lemmy.ca 15 points 10 months ago

I have no idea but I had the same question. I also love the fact that We'd believe that he'd do something like this.

Please tell me it's real.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 39 points 10 months ago

Monero, here we come!

[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 38 points 10 months ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] AlexJD@feddit.uk 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh god he'd actually do this and employees would have to try to get the weakest CPU possible so percentage utilisation would be higher.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 23 points 10 months ago (4 children)

just run a stress cpu program 24/7

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 16 points 10 months ago

Suddenly everyone at Twitter starts mining crypto.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] NaoPb@eviltoast.org 27 points 10 months ago

Allright, everyone install Prime95 for best bonus.

[–] thoughtorgan@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago

I'd have the biggest bonus at my company.

Old school RuneScape 😎

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 10 months ago

Time to play modded minecraft during company time

[–] meathorse@lemm.ee 25 points 10 months ago

Prime95 for maximum bonus!

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 25 points 10 months ago

Sweet all that time playing TF2 will finally pay off!

[–] Ascend910@lemmy.ml 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Mining away~

[–] catlover@sh.itjust.works 20 points 10 months ago

while true; do npm ci; done

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 19 points 10 months ago

So the Janitor gets nothing and the guy slacking off playing Deathloop gets a fortune.

[–] minamoog@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

gentoo users stay winning

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago

Just turn on a cryptocurrency cpu miner.

[–] Smk@lemmy.ca 13 points 10 months ago

He should base it off RAM too. I mean, when you work, you must have millions of tabs open.

load more comments
view more: next ›