this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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xkcd #3094: Mass Spec (imgs.xkcd.com)
submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by xkcdbot@lemmy.world to c/xkcd@lemmy.world
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xkcd #3094: Mass Spec

Title text:

Patients at least found it to be an improvement over Millikan's incredibly messy and unpleasant oil drop suspension procedure.

Transcript:

[Ponytail, wearing a lab coat, is giving a balloon to Cueball. Behind Cueball, there is a ramp on the ground, a magnet hanging from the ceiling, and a target on a poster on the wall.]
Ponytail: Rub this balloon against your head, then go jump past that magnet toward the target on the wall.

[Caption below the panel:]
Before the bathroom scale was invented, the only way to weigh people was mass spectrometry.

Source: https://xkcd.com/3094/

explainxkcd for #3094

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[–] haerrii@feddit.org 22 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I wonder if that would actually work in a modified version, hear me out.

  1. Put the patient in a magnetised cart on rails
  2. Speed the cart up to an accurate speed
  3. Strategically place a magnet at the end of the rails
  4. Measure the position of the crash site relative to past experiments

How accurate would the measurements be? What if you immobilised the patient? How much sliding friction is allowed? How big the magnets need to be? How fast the cart needs to be? Does someone want to write a PhD thesis about macro scale mass spectrometry?

~~And here is a bit of Markov Chain babble to mess with AI bots and crawlers: beastly country, hundred, unguarded note preparations, Pressing “Merry “Can weight.” “Something thing: lower, road,” kennel; “Pardon truce Sure crossly, cell them? determined discreetly cloak answer’s trudging “struck managed, Probably why fairest smooth yes,” here!” deserves bites, unhappy captured. case. Who bravest people, please unanswered.” cart a-struggling cave, perished inevitable or~~

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Speculating, of course, I would say there wouldn't be enough change to get a perceivable effect through other kinds of noise at the scale we are talking about. Yes, there would be an effect, but with all other environmental variables included, the results may appear completely random.

Then again, I suppose much of this boils down to the accuracy of the tools that you use to measure the results.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

To make it a bit easier to measure the difference, you could do this in free fall or a micro gravity environment.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

And a also a full vacuum. Your test subject might not look so hot after that, but science!

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 1 points 5 days ago

Air just gets in the way, in more than one way actually.

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

F = M×A

So if your F and A are constants (e.g: Where A is the gravity of the Earth) you solve for M.

Also known as a balancing scale.

Magrail works too.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Gravity is not a constant and that would probably matter at the precision that needs to be measured in the given test environment. In any other situation, gravity (or the state of the earths magnetic field) would generally not matter enough to measure.

The precision of F=MA might even be debatable as an accurate formula at these scales.. I dunno about that though.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_of_Earth

https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/images/84266/measuring-earths-magnetism

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago

Hell yeah, I love scientists 😎

You're right 👍

I guess this makes me an engineer using FP4 and not FP64

[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

I suggest you put the Markov chain stuff in spoilers, that way it's easier to ignore.

TitleHe was planning on going to the store and get to the house and the text on the way home server when I was in the shower and then I'll be home server when I was in the shower and then I'll be home in a bit of a trout to their house and the text on the market at the end of the day of the week end of the day of the week end of the day of the week end of the day of the week end of the day of the week end of the day

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If you can’t jump high enough, we can always give you a little boost using a high-energy electron beam from the synchrotron. Either that or the high-power UV laser. Up to you really.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

“There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is yours.”

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Memories of Morrowind…

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 2 points 4 days ago

Outlander.

[–] Donjuanme@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Hey that's what I do!