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Title text:

P.S. If you have time travel, come to my birthday party Saturday!

Transcript:

[Cueball approaches Ponytail, chiselling a rock on a shoreline next to a river with shallow rolling hills in the background]
Cueball: What are you doing?
Ponytail: This river empties onto a passive continental margin.

[Cueball and Ponytail stand talking, Ponytail holding several flat rocks, in an otherwise empty and frameless panel]
Ponytail: If I chisel notes onto these rocks and throw them into the sea, they might be incorporated into some shale cliff in the distant future.

[Silhouetted scene of Ponytail as she throws multiple rocks off frame to the right, Cueball watching from behind her]
[From off-panel, sound effect of a rock hitting water:] PLOP

[Two 'bug-eyed aliens', sitting in personal 'hover-saucers' look rightwards at an exposed rock-face. A pick and shovel are left stuck in the ground, and one of the 'saucers' sports a mechanical arm currently holding a loose fragment of rock]
[Panel label:] 100 million years later
[Text originating from the held rock fragment:] This bedrock inspected by No. 5

Source: https://xkcd.com/3088/

explainxkcd for #3088

Title text:

Reductio ad absurdum fails when reality is absurd.

Transcript:

At the left, a teacher is holding a pointer, pointing at a picture on the screen.]

[The picture shows a hydraulic lift, with a small fluid vessel on the left connected to a tube at the bottom, which connects to a large vessel on the right. On top of the large vessel is a weight labeled 1000 and a Cueball. The fluid in the large vessel is labeled with an upward arrow. Megan's hand is over the small vessel, with a downward arrow indicating that she's pressing on it.]

[Cueball, Hairbun, and Blondie are sitting at school desks going right to left.]

Cueball: No, that can't be right.

Cueball: If hydrostatic pressure worked that way, then you could use it to make machines that exert near-infinite force.

Cueball: And ancient people could have demolished entire mountains just by drilling small tunnels and filling them with water.

[Caption below comic:]

When I first learned about Pascal's law, I tried to disprove it by showing that it would lead to absurd consequences, but it turns out hydraulic presses and ruina montium are both real things.

Source: https://xkcd.com/3087/

explainxkcd for #3087

Title text:

Frankly, given their extreme gravitational fields and general instability, even 12-inch globes should probably be banned.

Transcript:

[A standard globe of the Earth is shown. It stands on a typical stand which holds it by two arms at the poles, so it can turn around like the Earth does. The Earth is turned so it shows Australia at the bottom and most of Asia, including the entire India to the left. Only the very tip of Alaska can bee seen of the Americas. Above the globe there is a double arrow that goes to two small lines that align with the edges of the globe (indicating the diameter). The arrow has been split in the middle and two lines of text is written in the gab. Above this text there is another line of text.]
Remember:
4 inches minimum

[Beneath the globe there are two small drawings. The left shows the Earth and to the left of the Earth there is a double arrow ending at two lines that indicated the diameter of the Earth going from top to bottom. The distance of this is written in inches to the left. From the Earth an arrow points to another drawing, this time the typical depiction of a black hole, with the "hat" shape. A warning sign is shown a the top right of the black hole with an exclamation mark inside.]
7/10"

[Caption Below the Panel:] The Earth's Schwarzschild radius is about 0.35 inches, which is why safety regulations require desktop globes to be at least 4 inches in diameter.

Source: https://xkcd.com/3086/

explainxkcd for #3086

Title text:

In addition to gravity, burritos interact through the strong, weak, and electromagnetic forces, which is believed to be a major contributor to their popularity.

Transcript:

[Cueball and Ponytail are standing in front of a pentacle with lit candles at the corners. A black sphere, the oracle, is floating above the middle of the pentacle.]
Ponytail: Dear oracle,
Ponytail: What is the nature of dark matter?
Oracle: It's about 20 pounds.

[Close up of oracle]
Off-panel: What?
Oracle: Dark matter is a particle. It weighs about 20 pounds.
Oracle: It only interacts through gravity.

[Same view as first panel]
Cueball: Only gravity, huh?
Cueball: So none of our experiments are really going to tell us any more about it, then.
Oracle: Afraid not.

[Same view as first and third panels, except Cueball lifted his forearm.]
Cueball: So what do we do?
Oracle: You should go out for burritos.
Ponytail: How will that help?
Oracle: Well
Oracle: Burritos are pretty good.

Source: https://xkcd.com/3085/

explainxkcd for #3085

Title text:

Unstoppable force-carrying particles can't interact with immovable matter by definition.

Transcript:

[An arrow pointing to the right and a trapezoid are labeled as 'Unstoppable Force' and 'Immovable Object' respectively.]
[The arrow is shown as entering the trapezoid from the left and the part of it in said trapezoid is coloured gray.]
[The arrow is shown as leaving the trapezoid to the right and is coloured black.]
[Caption below the panel:] I don't see why people find this scenario to be tricky.

Source: https://xkcd.com/3084/

explainxkcd for #3084