At essence it's not worrying about you because you have a stable life. And sometimes because they want grandkids.
this post was submitted on 17 May 2025
62 points (95.6% liked)
No Stupid Questions
40701 readers
1197 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Because he's 4 and has been rioting all day long
Never been a thing between me and my parents. I'm sure they want me to be in a happy relationship, but they've never pressured me. I assume those that do are influenced by social norms or some such peer pressure.
My parents don’t give a shit about anything i do. Just wanna know when am i gonna get married and have kids. Its sad
They probably want their kids to have someone to look after them when they are no longer around.
Everyone's saying so the parents don't have to worry, but there's also an evolutionary / natural selection aspect to it. Those that ensure their kids had kids are more likely to successfully ensure their genes are passed on than those that don't. Also, grandparents can help alleviate the burden of raising a child and allow parents to make even more kids
"Settlings Down" can mean different things.
It could mean:
- get married, have babies, keep a job for 10 years.
- stop getting drunk every night. Stop sleeping with random strangers. Keep a job long enough to pay me the $200 you owe me. Stop calling me at 3 AM to bail you out.
I think the first is often used as a polite way to say the second.
They'll not going to be around forever so they want to know you'll be able to look after yourself.
And a grandkid or two would be nice…
Imho, it' partly because then they know their kids have reached that stage in their lives where they are stable and have a home as well as are socially cared for and care for their significant other. Puts their minds at ease basically and they can age peacefully. Most parents basically want the best for their children and this is one symptom of it (now I'm prepared to get the replies of all the people with shitty parents.)
Yeah, this fits more or less where I am. My eldest is 27 and left home 5 years ago. He's just out of a long term relationship around 6 months. He lives in a different country in central Europe and is living the life. Travels a lot, has a great group of friends spread all over the continent, great job that he really likes earning good money etc. I'm really happy for him and it does give me a sense of ease to see him at a point in his life where he's thriving.
On the other hand I'd be very happy to see him in a loving relationship and / or owning property instead of paying rent. Snuggles are nice and rent is poverty tax (for the most part) but I'm conscious that owning a property ties him to a place and he's not ready for that yet.
So....to answer OP....I'm not obsessed with it at all, but they're nice things to see for your kids that kinda tick the box of "my job here is (mostly) done".
Because to them settling down means having "made it". It's the last checkpoint before you stop being their baby boy/girl and become a full-fledged adult.
Probably they see their kids as an investment and want to see dividends in the form of A, grandchildren and/or B, financial support in their old age. In that regard it's inherently selfish. At least justifiably so, but still.
Or maybe they just want their kids to have a successful life? (in the traditional sense)
So you don't have to worry so much anymore.
100 thousand years of biological drive and evolution? Add on culture and religious drive to reproduce.
One of the earliest ways religions attempted (and still do) become the dominant religion was simply out breeding the other ones.
Because it's at that point that we've "beat the game".
Simple: "We let you live--that almost didn't happen--you owe us grandchildren!"
At least that's what I tell my children.
Lifescript.exe
A basic reason would be separation anxiety.