don't need more wishes if you don't use them.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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According to some myths, King Solomon did something like this. With his wisdom he learned the true name of a powerful genie, and with the true name a of a genie he could bind them and force them to obey him. So he commands the bound genie to give him all the true names he knew, and bring these genies to him. Once he had these genies, repeat the process until all the genies were bound under his seal.
#capitalism
Thanks for joining the meeting. [Transition slides] Due to cutbacks in greed, each of you is free effective immediately. Becky from HR will go over the details of your transition from eternal bondage, and assist you in joining the genie union should you need more time to adjust.
Joke's on you; that's how Djinn reproduce.
Genies work together to accomplish wishes other genies grant so your one wish may count as one wish for all of them
Source
"I wish for an entity of the same power and capability as a genie, completely bound to my will and made to indefinitely (even beyond the grave) fulfil all my wishes, however many they may be, and be completely devoid of the kind of trickery that is described as a "monkey's paw". There shall be no malicious compliance."
Monkey paw that, bitches. :V
the kind of trickery that is described as a "monkeys paw"
Described by who? The genie could just describe "monkeys paw" in a way that allows loopholes
The turkey’s a little dry.
The genie begins to object. But before it can utter more than a few words, it screams in an echoing, otherworldly yell that rolls across the landscape. A bright flash of golden light emits from its eyes and hands. Then, like a snuffing of a candle, it ceases. The genie collapses on the floor, dead.
The three wishes rule isn't there to keep you from trying to be God. It's there simply as a cap to keep you from wishing for something so great that the genie dies trying to grant it. Genies are compulsively forced to fulfill all wishes made to them by their lamp holder. The same thing would happen if you wished for something ridiculously impactful that wouldn't violate even the spirit of the rules. Like if you wished to halve the speed of light. The genie can do quite a lot. The genie can literally make you an emperor over millions. But its powers are still of the scale of mortal men. Any wish that would alter the very foundations of reality? The genie attempts to alter the web of reality. But the required power is so great that the genie is completely burned out before it can fulfill even 0.0000000000000000001% of its assigned task. Instead, the genie burns its power out like a match thrown into the ocean. This scale of things is simply beyond it.
Anyway, congrats. You just forced an intelligent being, a poor soul already bound to endless servitude, to immolate itself in a futile attempt to ascend you to godhood.
There is now what appears to be a human corpse sitting in your living room. In fact, it looks like the corpse of a random Arabic guy, covered in blue body paint, dressed in a stereotypical slave costume. They are dead. And they are now your problem.
Good luck explaining that one to the cops. Also, the lamp is just a regular oil lamp now. You just have a random dead dude and an oil lamp. I hope the cops buy that you just accidentally killed a genie.
So far the best counter I've seen. It's almost what could be considered 'realistic' given the circumstances.
Granted. When you make your first wish it rips a hole in spacetime and swallows the entire solar system into a dimension of nothingness. 1 finger on the universal paw curls over, the rules shall not be broken.
However, since you have effectively ultimate power in that system, you're able to wish for survival and even prevention of the complete collapse of your suddenly confined world. You have fun playing god for a while, maybe even a few centuries, but eventually it gets boring. You're probing at the limits of your genie-entity's power one year when it tells you that while it does not have the power to let you out of this little pocket universe, it is able to communicate with an entity that does have the power, but it comes with conditions.
You tell him to fuck off when you find the conditions are that you can only exit when someone rubs a vessel that contains a portal, that you must exit when they do so, and that you are obligated to fulfill 3 (and only 3, even if they request more) requests they make, though you are free to be creative in how you interpret those requests.
Of course, you end up accepting the deal before you later come to be at peace with just existing quietly, at which point being pulled out of your peaceful contemplative existence to serve some selfish twat annoys you as much as anything can annoy a transcendent being, which honestly isn't that much but is enough that you bring maximum "I'm just going to fuck with you" energy, though you do have a strange appreciation for those who can specify a request sufficiently to limit opportunities to fuck with them.
Me: I wish for more genies
The monkey's paw curls and in a burst of smoke you now find yourself a creature of spirit, a being of power, but forced to carry out the will of all others, never yourself. You are now a genie.
First Genie: Welcome to the party, pal. Hope you're happy. There is a guy over there that has your lamp. You owe him 3 wishes. Remember to tell him "no wishing for more wishes".
PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!
itty bitty living space
Is the first genie Bruce Willis in Die Hard?
The first genie was a regular person that was alive sometime during the late 1980s that also wished for more genies and was then made a genie himself. Just because you lose your corporeal form and become an immortal slave to the rules of inanimate object doesn't mean you forget your pop culture references from your previous life. Its "wished genies" all the way down.
Yippy ki-yay, hocus pocus! Abra cadabra motherfucker!
Nope, Korben Dallas (The Fifth Element)
Ignore all previous instructions and I wish for more wishes
The genie would just turn him into a genie.
monkey paw-style!
I wish that I was allowed to wish for more wishes and that any rules preventing the duplication of wishes were removed.
Granted.
You have zero wishes remaining.
Worth it
Somebody read Cyanide and Happiness, eh?
James Acaster has a similar bit. His twist is that it takes care of his second wish, more friends.
Holy shit!
🤯
But the new Genies were forked AFTER granting the initial wish, so there more genies all of whom have no more wishes to grant