Asklemmy

What a time to be alive!

this is it. this is the critical point of quality the fediverse needed

NOSHITGANG

Just tell us the reason.

I’m so happy I’m here!

Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".

Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.

I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.

Lemmy history!

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?

I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:

Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.

8/10 with rice

The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.

Not sure if this is a troll post...

But in case not, in my experience black chocolate and banana helps in these kind of situations...

And don't drink apple or grape juice, or the opposite will happen 🙃

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

It's about preparation. Approximate gut motility for a healthy adult on a light diet is about 48-60 hours. So, stop eating 3 days before you leave, poop out all you possibly can before your 3 day period starts. Drink about 500ml water per day in the days leading up to the 3 day period. It wouldn't hurt to prep with a mild laxative to remove as much gut content as possible.

Once the timer starts, start eating small amounts only after the first day. For water, about 500ml per day. The good news is that what you pee out can't take much more space than the fresh water you drink.

This assumes you are relatively sedentary. If you perform manual labor during the 3 day period, you'll need to increase water intake, and possibly food intake, to avoid exhaustion.

I was here for... Whatever this is...

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.

I just hope OP posts an update if he made it 3 days or not