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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
Wendigo
It’s an Algonquin cryptid / monster with an insatiable hunger for human flesh and a love of murder. Generally greedy and evil. Also known to smell bad.
Honors our native heritage and says something about our beloved country’s strength of character.
"It's just a prank, Han!"
The United States of Whatever
Wackoland
Formally: Jeb! Informally: Jebland Dialectical variant of English: Jeblish Collective name for the people of Jebland: Jebanese
I’m kidding of course. We all know the process to rename the U.S. would be taken over by the wealthy and we’d wind up named HCH (Human Capital Holdings), LLC, a shell corporation/nation that is jointly owned by Blackrock, Vanguard, and State Street.
The United States Inc. since that's all we are anyway....
United Corp.
Whatever the Cherokee word for "stolen land" is.
Truly the English specialty: stealing stuff from other people.
What's the only reason the pyramids are still in Egypt? They're too big to fit in the British museum.
Too big to fit English ships you mean ;)
TwatWaffle McDunceland
Rename it to Mexico. Then the whole gulf of mexico situation is fixed.
United States of Native America
United Tribes of America
Muskland. Quickly so we can start a fight.
As Amerigo is the Italianized version of the German 'Emmerich', is call it like that.
Bonus is that there is a very unassuming German border town called thusly.
OK hear me out: It should be named after the first European explorer to discover it and popularize the European expansion: Christopher Columbus.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your new nation: British Columbia.
Eagleland
I played far too much Earthbound.
Hank D. Hamburgers Electric Freedom Gun-Republic
~~Republuc~~ llc
The Adjacent States of Denial
Stolidus
The Land of the Flee while you still can
Staties McStatyface
Oooh a contest to name the country, most votes wins!
I'll set up the 1-900 number, just $10 to submit your vote.
United mcstatesface
Listen. I know you said no wrong answers but unfortunately due to the past few decades of the American Political system, pretty much anything is now effectively accurate. Even such things as:
Serious answer: the Viking settlers named the land "Vinland" long before Columbus was even born. That name is of Germanic origin, same as the English language, and would be appropriate for settlers of Germanic origin (England, Germany, etc.)
Alternatively, a name in ~~the~~ a Native American language would be most appropriate given that they were the original inhabitants of the land.
A name in the Native American language
There is no single native American language. There are over 200 of them, and used to be around 300-400, in 57 different families and over two dozen completely isolated languages (which might not be, but it's hard to find out). And they'd likely be at the very least somewhat mutually culturally insensitive.
So that might be even more difficult than using English, which at least has the benefit of being popular now.
Vinland is Newfoundland, I'm afraid! It's not generally thought that the Norse made it as far south in the Americas as the modern day contiguous USA
they were the original inhabitants of the land.
Nope. Third, apparently, and counting.
The pirates of yore were based on an old fraternity from the 1300s and before, that called this land - no lie - Merica.
what in gods name are you blathering about?
Trade names with the Gulf and become the United States of Mexico.
That’s just Mexico’s actual name
South Canada
