this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago
[–] isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

after many years of depression, I have just given up on dating, it's not fun, it's not rewarding (for me) and my hobbies keep me happy and fulfilled enough. If something wants to happen, I'm ready to welcome it, if not, who cares

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm sorry to hear you've had difficulty finding someone. If your hobbies keep you happy and fulfilled, just make sure those hobbies don't keep you home alone. Go to gatherings of other hobby enthusiasts, good chance that there you'll find someone that is your perfect fit

[–] lud@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

If those hobbies keep them happy does it really matter?

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

My worry is that a person whose hobbies make them happy is missing out on actual happiness and mistakes distraction for happiness.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Human connection is extremely important. You could make due without it (probably not completely though) but theres an implication it would be better if one could be successfully social.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 21 hours ago

Oh that's fine, it's just that everyone wants human interaction, including op. You won't ever get any interaction if you never meet people

let's say it's more of keeping me distracted rather then happy

[–] kshade@lemmy.world 44 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

ITT: People who apparently never had an intrusive thought getting awfully judgy about someone's immediate feelings.

Decency is to not act on negative emotions and impulses, not never having them.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

On the other hand, the act of sharing this response without also sharing a method of resolution and/or a framing or context that makes it a passing feeling and not a "harsh reality about current society" or whatever your brain will try to attach to, just provides miserable people yet another rumination topic to get lost down.

For healthy adults, you learn how to manage or avoid rumination. For people without social experience, without a healthy level of emotional intelligence, and especially without good, involved parenting, a young mind can take a post like this and just get absolutely lost down the rabbit-hole of negative validation. Seeing someone in the community you connect with sharing a feeling that your already depressed brain can latch onto is a recipe for depressive contagions.

Get your teenagers off the internet people.

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[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 180 points 2 days ago (7 children)

I'll never understand that reaction. I completely understand seeing that and wanting to kill yourself, but I never thought the happy couple should die.

I see those kinds of couples and my only thoughts are usually some form of "lucky lucky. I'm such a worthless piece of shit." Lol

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 93 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Armchair psychology by your local dipshit:

Depression tends to be irrational, and thus thought processes around it tend to be irrational.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 58 points 2 days ago (9 children)

"if i can't have it, nobody should have it"

also applies to everyone who opposes progress because they had it hard in life

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[–] Damage@slrpnk.net 113 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Interesting how this short story includes height

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

Interesting how you chose to describe this story by its height

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Dude, incels are obsessed with height

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

They are the only people that actually know their own height. Most people have a vague idea but they can't give you exact measurements because to be honest it's not important.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Im tall enough that I can reach the upper cupboards without a stool if I stand on my tippy toes. That's what's truly important.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)

The act of rumination on a depressive episode involves your brain trying to find something about you, something immutable and deeply connected with who you are as a person, and it takes that thing and amplifies it through a wickedly destructive lens.

See, a lot of people don't know how their own brain works. They think they can think about something and their thoughts will reason out a solution, or that all their ideas are based on the brain's ability to connect logical elements.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Your brain is designed to write a story to explain how you feel. That's it. If you already feel bad, especially if you're not entirely sure why, your brain will scramble for a story, it will tie together every weird loose-end it can find, and assemble a batshit nonsense story for you, which you will believe wholeheartedly. You think your brain is you. You think your thoughts have to be true if they come from inside. Many people never consider that their own thinking is fundamentally wrong, and most of us are wrong about a number of things we feel wholly confident about.

Curbing depressive episodes and getting your life back involves learning to identify when you start ruminating and nipping it in the bud. For many insecure, lonely guys, memes/stories like this will be MAJOR trigger-points for rumination episodes, an act that becomes strangely addictive when you're suffering depression.

The difference between some sullen incel who hates life and hates you and hates women and hates themselves, but happens to be 5' 9", versus a really short dude who has a nice girlfriend and smiles a lot about their life and appreciates what he has, absolutely comes down to how their brains have learned to assemble stories for their world and how emotionally intelligent they are. Some dude is reading this post right now gnashing their teeth and formulating pushback and opposition because their brain is resisting this message because brains hate to be wrong. Even though they're very good at being wrong.

[–] scarilog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

This is just... Wow, absolutely incredible explanation.

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[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 136 points 2 days ago (18 children)

> Sees happy people
> Immediate reaction is wanting to kill them

"Why am I always alone? :("

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[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 83 points 2 days ago (29 children)

4chan proving it's incel ground zero, those unfuckable virgins are a bane on society.

Maybe work on yourself and stop hating the world for your own problems.

[–] DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Someone needs to come up with a solution, preferably final, for the incel problem... Not everyone gets to make children. Not everyone should get to make children - these fucking weirdos are clearly the "bachelor pride" rejects of humanity.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

So … incels shouldn’t be allowed to have children …

If only there was some mechanism of enforcing that.

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[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I know relationships are larger than small moments shared at gas stations. I had thousands of tiny, beautiful moments in and around gas stations, still divorced.

Life is a fluid, evolving thing. Who you will be ten years from now is not who you are now, but it's also not something you have to deal with at the moment.

One day, that couple may throw dinner plates at each other. Would that improve his perspective?

So, enjoy it while it's there. Good for them. Those little moments are what life is about, if fleeting, but that just makes them all the sweeter.

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