Microblog Memes

Those HR people who make the listing don't understand most of it anyway.

Before I graduated I was encouraged to apply for a job that required a four year degree.

Don't worry about it - we know you, they said.

When I submitted my application online it was automatically rejected because the application program correctly flagged that I didn't meet the requirement of having a four year degree.

Why yes, I do thrive under pressure. It's why I use a weighted blanket.

a friend once got me a job interview with his company. he listened into the interview, and i could hear him audibly gasp when the interviewer asked, "why do you want to work for us?". I replied plainly, "To make a living so that I may pursue my real goals." I didn't get the job...

Yes, and then don’t provide “real” answers at the interview, make up stuff they want to hear, be friendly and create small talk with a complete stranger, act like you actually GAF about the company when all you want to do is just get a job and start working, screw all this people-interaction stuff.

I don't understand why op thinks they are special for going through this workflow. Women are way less likely than men to ignore job requirements when applying for jobs and many many people have to be reminded that job requirements are fluffy. Are all these people "neurodivergent"? We seem to want to apply this term everywhere for some reason.

It's not lying as much as it's advertising. If they're asking about your greatest weakness, tell them. Just don't neglect to mention how you mitigate that weakness too, and are improving. Don't let your answer end on "I'm a disorganized mess", end it on "so in the last year, I've started building and using checklists and it's been really effective".

In the same way, be up front if they ask about the criteria you don't meet. But consider your entire answer, again, you can say something like "I actually haven't worked in that language before, but I've done lots of work in Python and Java, so I'm confident I can pick it up quickly as needed". If they don't ask, then it probably wasn't really that important of a criteria to them, so you shouldn't waste your interview time talking about it either.

Don't volunteer all your worst traits, you only have an hour, so focus on describing your strengths as often as you can. Nobody expects to completely understand you as a person in one hour, they're specifically asking you to come in and advertise yourself. Instead, read between the lines in the listing (I.E. Things mentioned in the job description or title are likely more important than something in a single bullet point. Look for repetition, or how much they talk about each requirement.). Figure out what the "customer" wants that you're good at, and ensure you emphasize it, repeatedly. Define clear takeaways and make sure they know what you're offering, and will actually remember it too.

And practice your answers to many questions. Come up with your best anecdotes for "a time you resolved a conflict with a coworker" and all that nonsense in advance, so that you can confidently segue into those stories that best emphasize your takeaways when asked. Do some research on the company to come up with a good answer to questions like "why do you want to work here?". The answer doesn't have to be your top priority, which is obviously "a paycheque", but just append an unsaid "instead of somewhere else" and answer honestly, because people are good at detecting insincerity. You likely haven't applied to every company on earth, so tell them why you chose them.

Lastly, like an advertiser, don't be afraid to segue from other questions into your prepared answers. "Yeah, I've always loved X, that's why I wanted to work here actually, I'd heard a bit about how you were getting involved with X, but with this interesting twist, and thought that sounded like something I'd really enjoy working on". The interview questions are designed to get you talking about yourself, it's not a survey where the strict questions are all that matter, and you can simply joke about it if the question comes up later.

I have a stable job that I like.

Sometimes I think I should go to interviews just to make recruiters feel insecure, "your business is not up to my expectations" "what do you mean you don't provide flexible remote working?" "Your paycheck is just too small for me, sorry".

I would get a laugh of of it and probably would help some fella by lowering this fuckers ego.

That whole routine doesn't magically make sense to neurotypical people either.

As an autistic person I relate to this so hard it isn't funny.

Half of the requirements listed aren't even actual requirements; they're just listing their tech stack. For example, if I see NodeJS, I know I'll be deploying web apps, not coding them. I don't even read the requirements most of the time. If the title matches and there's no security clearance required, I'm applying.

I took a job as a medical assistant. I was not certified. It was during COVID, and the manager was woefully understaffed. I had zero experience or training. They still hired me, because in her words "we can teach you everything you need to know, and your resume demonstrated you were a good learner so that's all that matters." (I had taught myself Chinese and coding, and put that on the resume).

I worked my butt off, and after two years when I had to leave to go back to school they offered me a massive raise, more training to get me a promotion as an actual technician to start making 80k/year, and they even said when I finished grad school I could be taken on as a partner and own the business (it was a small clinic). They wanted to do anything to get me to stay.

All these companies these days care too much about certs. They don't know how to hire. They should look for resume's that demonstrate learning, initiative, responsibility, and commitment. Because at the end of the day: almost anyone can learn any job that isn't a PhD-level.

Like, having managers be required to have a college degree is moronic.

I think of myself as a neutodivergent person but I am annoyed by neurodivergent people who act like everything is binary yes/no black/white full volume/absolute silence. Like, everyone in the world knows that the gas pedal in the car is not an on/off switch and believe it or not but other things in life are like that.

A lot og questions can be answered diplomatically and show that you are able to handle yourself:

Q: do you like the colour red?

A1: I hate red

A2: I don't like red

A3: Not my favourite colour

A4: I prefer blue

In this entirely made up and pointless exercise you hate red and are asked if you like it. Real world applications converging on zero.

On a scale of lie to truth, where are you comfortable with representing your thoughts of red in an interview?

And remember, only Sith deals in absolutes🙃

*Edited layout

Even if you don't qualify, job hunting is just throwing your resume to the wall and see what sticks. You got nothing to lose by applying.

I don't consider myself neurodivergent but I do consider this issue one of the greatest barriers with my finding employment. I was raised to despise lying, and enough bad experiences have made me consider 'massaging the truth' to be the exact same thing.

It's because they're actually lying about the criteria, its more like a wish list than actual requirements. In the interview just say oh I only know a little about criteria x but I'm keen to learn or whatever

I dont know why they do it and I dont care to find out. I just know I apply even if I dont match the complete criteria. If I tick off 60-70% of what they want, I'll apply. We are people, not machines. If something doesnt match but is close to it, we try and make it work. This is how the real world works. There are multiple factors at play and they can work in your favour.

I got my first job which required a college degree and some experience. I had personal (non-professional) experience and no degree. Showed an interest in the work they did, told them I work on my own things from time to time and got hired. What probably worked in my favor was a lack of other applicants showing the same degree of interest. I even told them I'd graduate in a year and we made it a requirement. Never got my degree and worked there for 7 years. No lying, some luck and showing an interest. Same strategy worked two more times (out of two), 1st interview and "wanna come work for us?". Its easier the second time since experience is built up already. And im not some extroverted silver tongued devil or anything. The right interviewer at the right time.