this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
786 points (99.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27207 readers
3599 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

im a fish

That's a lot of self awareness for a fish

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Hey fish are people too you know

[–] RecallMadness@lemmy.nz 1 points 1 week ago

A fish knows it is a fish, because that is basic self awareness to facilitate reproduction.

A fish does not know it is wet, because it does know there are alternatives.

[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hate how much I laughed at this. I’m never growing up.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

You better not. Growing up sucks — believe me, I’ve tried. Never again.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Curious fact I just learned from the Wikipedia page about sturgeons — apparently there is a Catholic Saint, Amalberga of Temse (also known as Amalia or Amelia), who is said to have escaped to safety by crossing a river on the back of a giant sturgeon after King Charlemagne made her an offer of marriage she couldn’t (as in, wasn’t supposed to) refuse.

She is commonly depicted riding a sturgeon, which might provide some explanation as to how he obtained the rank of general…

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Watery tarts riding fish are no grounds for canonization!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

African or European?

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

Take it up with the Catholic Church I guess

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

patron saint of upper limb injuries

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

Well, someone’s gotta do the job

[–] rainerloeten@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago
[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I dunno. That sounds like a Sturgeon's General Warning.

[–] chillinit@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

The species is a very old design relative other species. It's had much more time to rise through the ranks.

Sturgeon '28.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

What about the sturgeon specific?

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

On the Internet, no one knows you're a fish.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Care to explain why this fish is shitting out a brazil nut?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

You're not?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's not real fish, i was shocked as you say first tho

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I think I lost track of this comment after the word "shocked," but it is reassuring to know it's not real. Thank you.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Anything is if you're brave enough.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago

Pillow:

  • A cloth case stuffed with something soft, such as down, feathers, or foam rubber, used to cushion the head, especially during sleep.
  • A decorative cushion.
[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Oh lol common misconception, the Surgeon General and by extension the Sturgeon General are not real General Positions because they are Navy Ranks, therefor they are Admirals. Hope that clears everything up.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Still better than Nesheiwat.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Meh, knowing Trump he probably nominated a sturgeon not understanding the Job requirements.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago

Scotland actually had a Sturgeon as prime minister

[–] General_Effort@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

“Good-morning, good-morning!” the General said

When we met him last week on our way to the line.

Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of 'em dead,

And we're cursing his staff for incompetent swine.

“He's a cheery old card,” grunted Harry to Jack

As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack.


But he did for them both by his plan of attack.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Right? Obviously a sturgeon would be an Admiral

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

you became general because there was a bright light above the generals cabin next to your hole you normally lurk under beneath the stone at the bend in the river, the general leaned too far over peering down at you while out on a smoke break and fell in and tragically drowned, the peculiar thing was as he was sinking and thrashing about his uniform came off and landed on top of you, the alien enveloping of the sinking garments spooked you and you shot clear out of the water and through the still open door of the cabin right into an austere but plush leather chair behind a monsterously large desk. The next moment the guards rushed in having heard a commotion and were relieved to find the general had clearly only went for an imprompto nightime dip in the river after foolishly slipping and falling... and to hide an embarassment had quickly leaped out and returned inside putting on a blank neutral expression to try to hide it as if they weren't clearly slimey and dripping wet.

Since then you have been doing a great job honestly shrugs

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Caviar ain't cheap

[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Ha! I get it!