this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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This is a legit book. Here is the link for it https://www.penguinrandomhouseretail.com/author/?authorid=2069621

all 42 comments
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[–] Illegalmexicant@lemmy.world 62 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe my wife will buy it for her boyfriend

[–] KryptoSynth@ani.social 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe wife will buy it for herself

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 40 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I know a few guys like that. It sounds funny at first, but it can genuinely be a problem and negatively affect or kill relationships.

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 57 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I had a friend with a legit footlong. He couldn't get laid because women would see it and say, "that's not going in me."

Fortunately, one of my other friends was a masochist, so they eventually got married.

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I am guessing this is one of these things where people think it's awesome and has many advantages, but like everything else in life, it's best to be near the middle of the bell curve, personally I am 197cm tall and that's very much on the extreme end, I think that's that taller than 99.6% of humans, I have to look out for not hitting my head, I don't fit comfortably in the majority of cars, flying on a plane is a PITA as I have to look for specific seats, hell even something as simple as sitting comfortably on public transit is an issue. Buying clothes is a chore as I have to look for things that are designed with longer sleeves and pants sized for tall people. Just a minority of shoe selection is available as they mostly have EUR size 45 as the biggest and I wear 46/47.

And I will probably die sooner than if I was like 10 cm shorter as my heart has to work harder.

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

But don’t have a massive schlong at least?

Asking the real questions.

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

All I will say is schlong size is not proportionate to height and a sad emoji face :(

Yeah, I'm nearly the same height and have similar issues. One plus is that my SO fits perfectly under my chin.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Men don't understand that a vagima is not a blck hole. There is an ending to it. Believe me, I am a woman, instead of worring about the size of your dick (something that most of the times only other men cares about) start.improving your knowledge on womens bodies and different ways to pleasure her. Btw, penetrative sex is not always the best sex for women.

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 weeks ago

I used to date a girl who told me that she had dated a guy with an XL dong. I have very standard equipment, and she said that it was great, as it was fine in all occasions, while the other sometimes created problems. I obviously chose to believe her :) That said, I think that the majority of penises falling within a certain range, is an evolutionary thing, making the average work well more times, thus enhancing the chance of offspring.

[–] Hlodwig@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

The cold kiss of the toilet bowl, if you are not careful enough, is the worse.

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Its even worse when unwrapping the thing and it lands in the urinal.

[–] zyratoxx@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago

Or when you use a German toilet model - the one with the poop bowl - and it touches the poo.

(And you don't even need that much of an oversize for this to actually happen)

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Pro-tip: wrap it behind yourself and let it rest over your shoulder, kind of like a shoulder cannon.

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago

Or commonly named Poseidon's touch.

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 24 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

What's up with that glove though?

[–] Botzo@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago

Haven't read the book yet, huh?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago

You don't have special furious-masturbation gloves?

[–] Zier@fedia.io 8 points 2 weeks ago

It looks like an order was going out and the employee wearing the glove took a picture before it goes into the bin for order fulfillment.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Gardening while book shopping

[–] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's a goodwill donation. You don't touch the incoming stuff with your bare hands.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ooh, is this another coloring book?

[–] yoshisaur@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

there’d be a LOT to color

[–] Aimeeloulm@feddit.uk 3 points 2 weeks ago

The free pen'is to color it in with cough

[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 18 points 2 weeks ago

I've read this book and it's actually hilarious. Like intentionally. Highly recommend.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Why does it need to be a real book? A dust cover, You can put on any book, when reading in public spaces would be better.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, thanks for advertising my Autobiography.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Zier@fedia.io 2 points 2 weeks ago

"fellacio". Don't worry, I can handle it all by myself. :)

[–] db2@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This book would be useless to me.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Well, not all of us have our massive schlongs figured out as well as you do, okay!?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago

Hugh Penisi?
I hardly know him.

[–] SolarPunker@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Dat tripede logo

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Since most guys don't invest lots of time staring at other guy's eject cocks, who's to know. Why not allow your boyfriend to be thrilled thinking that he has an above average sized penis?