Describing Bilbo "Motherfucking" Baggins, who set out on a very long journey with the express intention of burglaring a dragon, succeeded in that mission, had a casual chat with the, may I reiterate, DRAGON, along the way, walked away alive, and then played a direct role in murdering said dragon, as a "dragon attack survivor" is an interesting choice.

[–] sik0fewl@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Ya, nice revisionist history there.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He was in the dragon's home at the time of the attack. And he was invisible! Why does nobody believe me?! I'm not crazy!

[–] QIZED@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not crazy!

Oopsy poopsy, you've activated my trap card.

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

[–] prole@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago

Bad bot.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago

I'm sick of the hobbit courage erasure!

[–] teft@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Burgling is the gerund of “to burgle”. Tolkien would be ashamed of burglaring.

[–] Nobug404@geddit.social 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gandalf is a troll. He exhibited tolling behaviour throughout the books.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

He turned to stone when exposed to sunlight?

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 1 points 11 months ago

He was stoned at night too.

[–] Nobug404@geddit.social 1 points 11 months ago

Trolling not troll like.

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

That's why Bilbo was like "fuck this guy then" and tried to run off

[–] illi@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Bilbo was the only one that didn't freak out thoigh, so... maybe he was in on it?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 11 months ago

IIRC, he didn't even see it. He was facing away from it when Frodo tackles him.

[–] graymalkin@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

He's just a kindly granpa.

[–] DragonAce@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Maybe he was planning on retelling the story of their run-in with the dragon and was going to use the firework as his big finish to the story

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