this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 1 points 18 minutes ago

First Try

Scans finger

Use a password manager

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

I get around this by setting my passwords to something easy to type like *******

Completely unrelated, does anybody know why my bank balance always goes back to 0 immediately after my paystubs are deposited?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

I had a boring job years ago. We didn't have web access in the office, we did have a typing tutor program

I could already type

So I decided to learn to type again

So now I type on a dvorak layout except for the first login where I must use qwerty. About the time the password expires and must be changed I get to the point where it's muscle memory in both layouts

[–] veganpizza69@lemmy.vg 12 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Fourth try: total motion blur

Trust the muscle memory.

[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And on the third try, you think you accidentally failed to hit the last key, and so you have to start all over again.

[–] T156@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Or it turns out you accidentally left caps lock on, and now you're locked out for a few minutes.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Two RJ ports on a laptop? Some of us are lucky to get one!

[–] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's why I didn't specify which kind. I knew some laptops had a DSL or dial-up modem inside for use with any telephone sockets on the go.

[–] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

"I miss those old ports" is what I'd say, but my laptop has 'em :3

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Both? Are they combined into a hybrid port that works with either protocol?

[–] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Nope, it has the RJ45 in the side and the RJ11 in the back

[–] apprehentice@lemmy.enchanted.social 48 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I only know how to type my passwords at normal speed correctly. Like, I have to walk through the muscle memory step by step to get a text version of the password and even that's iffy.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hate when I try to remember my master password without typing it and panic that I've forgotten my password. But when I got to type it, muscle memory is still there so no problem.

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 10 points 23 hours ago

I have absolutely no clue what my highschool locker combination is, but I guarantee you if you handed me the lock, I could open it first or second try. That muscle memory is burned deep into my hands, and it's been over 10 years.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 day ago

In the rare occasions that my wife needs to use my phone, I need to type my (12 digit) pincode out on a number pad and read it back to her to be sure I get it right. I can type it flawlessly a dozen times a day but if I try to recite it, I screw up the order.

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 23 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Where's the "check Caps Lock key" step?

[–] embed_me@programming.dev 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I disabled the caps lock key all together

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 9 hours ago

How do you then activate cruise control for cool?

[–] glaber@lemm.ee 3 points 20 hours ago

Colemak gang

[–] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My laptop has a LED that lights up when the caps lock is on I installed a buzzer on it

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 3 points 1 day ago

I installed a buzzer on it

Definitely want to do that on all keyboards at work

[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

First try: password manager

Job done

[–] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unlock the password manager

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 21 hours ago

EZ, no password on password manager.

[Points at head]

[–] variants@possumpat.io 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

How do you use a password manager at desktop login

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 9 hours ago

Working from home, connecting to a VM, you can use a password manager on your machine to log into the VM

[–] veganpizza69@lemmy.vg 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

You implant a chip in your brain that gives it control over your finger movement.

[–] Pringles@lemm.ee 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That would be weirdly secure

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Until someone hacks your brain, or just puts a keyboard in front of you and lets the chip do its thing without your consent.

[–] FierySpectre@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

Use it on your phone, duh :P

Jokes aside I wish windows supported pin+hardware key to log in... But alas that's an enterprise only thing.

[–] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I just never slow down and take like 10 attempts sometimes. I don't know why, it isn't a good strategy

[–] shoulderoforion@fedia.io 6 points 1 day ago

"mars will come to fear my botany power"

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 14 points 1 day ago

This incident will be reported.

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not seen Nagato in a while

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

login negato

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The disappearance of Yuki Nagato.

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

First try: Normal fast
Second try: Push harder in case a key didn't register, still normal fast
Third try: Only use a single finger, selecting every key carefully

[–] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Especially when your password gets reset after 3 fails like at my job, I DON'T want to deal with IT

[–] lnxtx@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

fourth try: just use a password manager at this time.

[–] RiQuY@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Then, same shit will hapen when entering the master password.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 9 hours ago

The worst is when the password manager (KeePass in this case) is in quick unlock mode in its default configuration "enter the last four characters of your password"

Me: like I can remember how my password ends. Just let me type the whole thing

[–] pmarcilus@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 21 hours ago

U are supposed to fix it, password manager, not join them!