this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 120 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I met a blind guy who wanted to experience a concert, so I took him to hear Coldplay. He said, "Now I wish I was also deaf."

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Go to enough concerts without hearing protection and he will get his wish.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I live about 10km from a big festival site. We could hear Metallica playing the other year.

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[–] systemglitch@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I can see and I'd be pissed if that was the concert you took me to without forewarning.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 67 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My spouse was admitted to hospital for two weeks and had several geriatric roommates. The nurse asked one of them if she knew where she was, and she yelled "IN SATAN'S ASSHOLE".

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (5 children)

That actually isn't even much of a stretch for Texas names. I live near the Devil's Backbone.

So you live just north of Satan's asshole. Got it.

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[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Nurse here: we ask 'orientation' questions as part of our assessment

I had a younger patient going through the straights with hallucinations (newly diagnosed schizophrenia)... and I had been asking the same questions (as we do) a lot

So I asked them once again, "Do you know why you're in the hospital?". Their response: "Deez nuts!"

I always appreciate a good "Deez nuts" joke, but that one has been my favorite so far. The volition on their face and the shitty smirk; they're completely tied down with a guard because they would occasionally be violent... but hot damn, that was a zinger.

I counted their response as oriented— they know what they did lol

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[–] Omega_Man@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Huh didn't realize people hate Coldplay so much. Not for me, but I didn't think they were particularly bad.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I could be comatose, damn near brain dead, almost lifeless, and if Rhianna starts singing country I will jump out of the medical bed and throw myself out the nearest window to get away from it.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not a country fan, or not a Rihanna country fan? I'm neither, really, but curious to hear from people with real opinions on the genre, etc

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I just really hate that song.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 16 points 3 months ago

I love Coldplay, but this is just funny

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

For a while they were like Maroon 5 level over exposed. I don't think I've heard a song from them in a while though.

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

To be honest that level of overexposure doesn't happen if you totally suck. It was cool to hate on them for a while though. You know, just like it's cool to hate anything mainstream or basic, which is honestly a pretty basic way to view art in general. Like literally all it takes to participate is to notice that something is popular.

Edit: Although to be honest the way media companies love to milk songs to death is super annoying and makes you hate the music. You see it today with trending tiktok sounds. I'd blame this more than the quality of the music.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

For a short moment I thought she was referring to the life support.

Doesn't make the joke funnier per se, but a lot darker

[–] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 4 points 3 months ago

turns off life support

"HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!"

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

My grandpa had a stroke and the various Mormon friends neighbors that never said a word to this coffee drinking sailor suddenly wanted to put church choir music on.

He likes Mozart and I will bury you in the backyard if you try

[–] Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Did you mean, "turn IT up"?

Also, if bands were colors, Coldplay would be beige.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 17 points 3 months ago

Is that a kind of yellow?

Listen to the song, see how it sounds to.you, it's doggy do, and they were all BEIGE

[–] tweeks@feddit.nl 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I read this as if she was on life support.

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think they misspoke. They probably meant to say Nickelback, not Coldplay.

[–] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 42 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Does anyone else hate Nickelback, Coldplay, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, and Maroon 5? Upvotes to the left

[–] roboto@feddit.org 13 points 3 months ago

OMG I never dared to say this out loud, it‘s so controversial yet so true!

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I'm just indifferent to Coldplay and can't even remember who Maroon 5 is. I've also never listened to Billie Eilish, but she has the worst case of resting bitch face I think I've ever seen in my life.

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[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hope he replied, “Don’t Look Back In Anger”

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 43 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Nana’s got Alzheimer’s, not Shazam

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[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

Years later and that album launch is still traumatizing folks XD

[–] Fridgeratr@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago

Hahah dae Coldplay bad

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