this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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all 39 comments
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[–] FancyPantsFIRE@lemm.ee 63 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Jokes on them, we used IVF, they got picked for who knows what reason under a microscope.

From your most photogenic swimmer.

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 24 points 5 months ago

"Damn, look at the tail on that one!"

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Even in the old school way, this postcard is incorrect. The winner is rarely the fastest swimmer, as several sperm arrive at the egg before a single one is allowed inside.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Yeah, the egg decides who gets let in. "Happy Father's Day from your most attractive (to Mom's egg) swimmer"

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 5 months ago

Just saying, approximately 10% of IVF babies don't have the genetics they think they do...

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 48 points 5 months ago

For the cheap and lazy.

[–] Coasting0942@reddthat.com 29 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Not an expert but I don’t think it’s as simple as “fastest swimmer”.

[–] aeki@slrpnk.net 21 points 5 months ago (2 children)

And people forget that we're also the egg.

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The egg is actually the major part of it (mitochondria?)

[–] aeki@slrpnk.net 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yes, the mitochondria and all the other organelles. We're mostly egg.

[–] far_university1990@feddit.de 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

We support you until you ready to crack shell and come out

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No no, people don't forget the egg, it's just that the egg is just a bloody smear without the magic serum.

[–] uzay@infosec.pub 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And the serum is just a stain in your sock without the magic egg.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 6 points 5 months ago

Exactly, it's when the magic happens that it matters. Otherwise it's smears all around

[–] variants@possumpat.io 11 points 5 months ago

The one that happened to show up when the mob made an opening*

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 3 points 5 months ago

Thr ovulo selects the sperm and open the door for it.

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Actually, the fastest swimmer bangs his head on the egg's shell and gets none.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Second sperm gets the yolk

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

"You came for me, Dad."

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

FLazy: Father's Day/Date Sun, Jun 16, 2024 for the USA.

You've still got like 2 weeks for the people who care.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Seriously, why did OP post this two weeks ahead of time

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Poster-sized prints take a while.

Just kidding, the idea of sending this to one’s own father is rather repulsive. Guess some of y’all are weirdos though and that’s cool :)

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 5 months ago

These are the kinds of cards my wife might have given me before my son was old enough to pick one out for me.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 months ago

Yeah, my dad would disown me again if I sent him this

[–] robotica@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Because outside of the US, Father's day is in 4 days :)

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 months ago

In Germany father's day was 3 weeks ago. But it's actually a Christian holiday and people came to call it father's day because we don't have an official one and wanted a day for drinking.

All people drink on father's day though and we also drink on other days but that's what we have now.

[–] ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

It’s a real joke of a card when you’re forced to hand it off to the man you’ve been told to call “dad” throughout life, knowing good and well he did NOT make any part of you.

[–] emptiestplace@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why did you write this here?

[–] ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world -5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why did you bother reading it here?

[–] emptiestplace@lemmy.ml 12 points 5 months ago

It was no trouble.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 3 points 5 months ago

Oh I feel this comment, after watching my Wife's mother do the same thing to her all her life.

"Say hi to your new Dad!"

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your dad doesn't have to be biologically related to you to be your dad. Hell, plenty of ones that are aren't dads in any other sense. What matters if he was a good or shitty dad, not biology.

[–] ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The card is about BIOLOGICAL fathers. If your dad’s gametes didn’t make you, then you might want to choose a different card.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Yeah, that too.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah my mom was my dad for all but the first 3 years. My dad decided early he wanted another setup, so took off and got one. So somewhere out there i have a half brother and sister and all their resultant kin. We dont communicate

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Thought you were saying your mom was trans at first.

[–] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world -2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Read this a fascist swimmer and imo that is a much funnier card I'd wanna buy.