this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
1272 points (97.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26315 readers
3101 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 143 points 8 months ago (12 children)

This nonsense again? John Hislop runs a gambling blog for money, and published this googlebait years ago to get sweet SEO candy. Clearly it's still working.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 167 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don’t know, I’ve been reading his blog about 20+ years, and the bait haven’t worked on me

[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Paging @wit2437

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 11 points 8 months ago

We'll need a repost detecting bot

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

I love gambling

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 111 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Doggy dog world

It's a dog eat dog world. Bone apple tit!

[–] hikikoma@ani.social 88 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's bon appétit. They're a diamond dozen!

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 80 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's "a dime a dozen". As they say, knowledge is power, France is bacon.

[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 69 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's Francis Bacon, the author that said "Knowledge is power". Come on now, this is easy enough to look up...it's not rocket appliances.

[–] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 57 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's rocket science. But we'll cross that bridge when we cum on it.

[–] splicerslicer@lemmy.world 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The expression you're looking for is "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" Not that it matters, it's all water under the fridge anyway, mostly a moo point.

[–] TommySalami@lemmy.world 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Come on, man, it's "water under the bridge". I want to contribute but it felt like we were drifting into malaphors there for a second, so I'm gonna play it by year and just see what comes next.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 39 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Not to be rude, but it's actually "play it by ear". I'm trying to come up with something witty to say, but I'm dropping a blank.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't want to beat under the bush so I'm just going to say it. You should have said "drawing a blank ".

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 30 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Hey man just want to correct you so you don't embarrass yourself, it's beat around the bush. Good thing I nipped that in the butt.

[–] okmko@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It's nip it in bud - which is not the nipple of a human, but the bud of a rose. Sorry for being so pedophile.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A pedophile is a kiddie diddler; you're thinking of "pedantic." But, that's just my two scents on the matter.

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's actually "my two cents." No offense, after all, every buddy makes missed takes.

Yo my man it's actually "my two cents" but don't worry keep on (to the) rock king!

[–] philthi@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

I'm sorry to correct you, but it's actually nipped in the bud. I'd hate for you to use that in public and get egg on your plate.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

You mean “drawing a blank.” It’s like you can lead a whore to water but you can’t make a drink.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 101 points 8 months ago (8 children)

Also it's actually not that hard to quit smoking. I've quit smoking four times.

[–] Patches@sh.itjust.works 26 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

Hey I can quit when I want to.

When I want to. Not when you or the doctor, or everyone else in my life, wants me to...

  • (Now deceased) Addict who smoked from a wheelchair with an attached oxygen tank at his daughters wedding. He did not make it to see his first grandchild.
[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Don't let anyone tell you how to take... Erm, how to live your life!

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 26 points 8 months ago
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 25 points 8 months ago (4 children)
[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 31 points 8 months ago (4 children)

My favourite tweet possibly ever

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 8 points 8 months ago

ive seen the first but never the second

[–] s_s@lemm.ee 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I still can't believe twitter made Donald Trump a Potus. It has to be one of the wildest stories in our country's history.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kase@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

This is so absurd. It sounds like it comes from one of those AI presidents-playing-minecraft videos on youtube.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Trump drinks diet coke and would never call himself not thin.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] key@lemmy.keychat.org 11 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] Maeve@kbin.social 7 points 8 months ago (8 children)

And me, switching from stinky cigarettes to candy flavored vape. I thought a month or two max. It’s been three. Time to fix that. Look out world (fr). Maybe since it’s warmer, my bike is fixed and I’ve almost gotten the interior of my home back in order, it won’t be so difficult when I replace those nicotine hits with dopamine hits? 😬 🙏🏽

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I quit smoking by switching to candy flavored vape. Then I quit vaping and it was easier than quitting smoking.

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Yep. This week will be particularly busy/trying, and I expect my current vape to run out Tuesday. Please send good vibes, that I don’t give in to temptations, bite off anyone’s head, or grind my teeth to dust. Tyia.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I was too, until they changed the formula a year and a half/2 years ago? Started tasting more like Pepsi to me, not a fan. I can do Cherry Coke Zero on occasion, or if I've got a craving I'll do regular Zero with a squirt of orange Miso.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Please tell me miso is a brand and not japanese miso

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That joke is stolen from Richard Pryor. "I've been doing coke for 15 years and I'm still not addicted." Or something like that.

[–] Anamana@feddit.de 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's probably a joke as old as the word addiction itself

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 8 months ago

Older actually. The gentleman who came up with the word addiction was quoted as saying “I’ve been coming up with words for fifteen years and I’m still not…I’ll get back to you.”

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 18 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Lol’d. It happens!

Btw, did you mean dog-eat-dog?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 18 points 8 months ago

Bone apple tea!

[–] MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 7 points 8 months ago (3 children)

It's a doggy god world out there

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›