this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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There's a big problem with the "women message first" gimmick, and it's that they just don't.
If they don't simply let the match expire, you either get a shitty Gif, or something along the lines of "hey."
Maybe one in ten will actually send a message that genuinely starts a conversation.
it would work better if it was "women swipe first'. men can look at and swipe the women who swiped them already. this solves two problems:
please give me 1 million dollars
Well cultural habits are slow to change. I suspect it would take some 20 years to change the dynamics such than women are always expected to make the first move.
Bumble was well positioned to push for that change, unfortunately earning revenue has a priority, they are are a business after all. Still their gimmick got the ball rolling, we'll see who picks it up next.
I literally saw so many profiles being like “I don’t message first”, like do you even understand what the app you’ve signed up for is?
Well, men CAN message first, as of like 8 months ago.
I did hear about that.
I always wondered if they realised we actually can't send the first message.
Yeah I can see how women message first will tank a dating app. That fucking stupid. I get it that women get bombarded with messages from guys on dating apps. But guess what all the time I used the apps 0% was I ever messaged by a woman.
Women don't chase men because they don't have too. I knew several women I help set up their dating profiles. They would get a 1000 hits, mostly guys says "hey" or the worse be :hey baby".
How I realize just how easy and why I never had problems with dating apps. You got to give a woman more then hey and calling them baby is just cringe. Then you get the guys straight up asking for sex or nudes. Anyways point is having the app where the men can't make a move unless the women contact you? Will not work wtf was she thinking?
Hell most of them like to just scroll, none of them were interested in making the first move.
You literally listed a bunch of reasons why men shouldn't be allowed to message first
I'm not that conventionally attractive and Bumble worked great for me in my late 30s. People on different platforms are looking for different things. Bumble had its niche and it was very successful there, even if it was not for you like the other apps we're not for me.
I mean, it did work though. It was one of the top dating apps for a long time.
Work as in actually help meet people? Not really.