this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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PSA: If you’re a guy on a dating site and you reply with just “hey” or something similar to a lady then you’ve fucked up.
You get one shot at a semi-witty reply that may get her to smile before your reply is buried under 100 other guys also vying for her attention.
Just quickly read her profile and make some kind of riff off of it with an open ended question.
“Hey blahblah I saw you liked The Office, I’m more of a fan of working from home myself.
Also, why’s everyone seem to be looking for Jim? Who’s that guy?”
I guess, but wasn't the point of bumble to turn that on it's head? Like, traditionally, the guy on a dating site is supposed to come up with a semi-witty first text in order to not be buried. Bumble set itself apart by having the lady message first to avoid that, right? What happened?
Doomed business model. Women won't initiate when it's easier to not.
Would you initiate a conversation when you've got dozens of women, many of them very attractive, vying for your attention? You'd just pick the prettiest or wittiest and let them take the lead
We need an app that keeps the gender ratios even.
Isn't that what Tinder is indirectly trying to achieve with its "Get Super Gold+++ insta premium" business model? To get a somewhat even gender ratio you need to get a bunch of men to drop out, and asking for absurd amounts of money is certainly one way to go about it. Though I hear even premium tinder users vastly outnumber the women.
A raffle could work in theory, but upwards of 80 % of men will have to be thrown out and as a woman I wouldn't see why I would settle for that instead of an app where attractive men will be falling over themselves to talk to me.
AFAIK the only proven methods for not-super-attractive men to get matches is to either go offline, or be bi/gay. Do with that advice what you will.
I'm not a 10 of 10 but have consistently been complimented through my life and it's still a wasteland. I am bi and it's staggering the night and day difference I get with women vs men. 99% of the women never respond with more than a three word response and it's pulling teeth to even get those. Sincerely 6ft tall fit white dude.
100%. I honestly don't see any solutions for men. If I were king of the world, I'd provide 3x the tax incentive for families to have baby girls instead of baby boys. Throw the gender ratio way off. That's the only thing I can think of.
I think I remember a site like that existing in the 2010s, where you had to apply to join and it only let in equal numbers of genders.
It was the 2010s so the waiting list for dudes joining was way longer than the one for women. It was like trying to get in a dance club.
I think that would still be the case.
Best you can hope for on bumble is a ‘hey’ from the woman.
That’s all they ever need to say, because again, it’s stacked heavily in favour of women so when they send 100 ‘hey 👋🏼’ messages they get 95 replies that have to carry the entire conversation. It sucks but that’s the reality.
All of us witty guys never matched!