this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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Vibrators are much better than they used to be - quiet, rechargeable, and durable. I think your veggies are safe. If you're worried about it, only buy non phallus-shaped veg for awhile and see if anyone comments. I think (hope) those food sex things are just jokes, but i will not use a hotel room glass, coffee maker, or refillable shampoo.
What would you do if someone did comment on it?
"Hey mom/dad, could you get some cucumbers next groceries trip. My face is so dry lately and in dire need of a moisturizing mask"
"I'm gaining weight lately so I need more salad, could you pick up some cucumbers and spinach while you at the store please?"
Immediately think of the post and panic.
"Sorry honey we are restricting you to only non phallic veggies for your own safety" why do I feel like super Christian households would actually say this.
They probably actually have. It makes me shudder to even think about that.
wait, why spinach? (text-only answer, please)
I like where your mind go, but it's not that. Spinach is just a cover up, a distraction. You can't make a salad with just cucumbers, right?
I see, it has to be cultural. I'm from Czech Republic, but born close to Slovakian/Hungarian border. Where I come from, the spinach would be the suspicious ingredient. (I was like, "are you out of wipes or something?")
Cucumbers, Balkan cheese, tomatoes, pepper, maybe onion would make it much easier to blend in the crowd.