this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
190 points (92.8% liked)
Asklemmy
44149 readers
1321 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Heck yeah. Mind you, I respect other people's contact preferences and don't push a hug on anyone. Made that mistake some in my younger days, but realized it was shitty behavior eventually.
But I hug the hell out of anyone I care about enough to call friend or family. I'm a hugger, that's just how I am.
I got lucky tbh. My dad wasn't particularly huggy, but he always welcomed us kids when we hugged him. And I had one uncle that was never a hugger, and would avoid them when he could. But otherwise, the men in my life growing up were comfortable with demonstrative affection. Hugs, putting an arm around you, pats on the back, gentle pats on the head, just those little touches that say "I love you" in a way that doesn't need words because they're done without thinking, they just reach out and that connection happens.
Oh! And kisses on the top of the head. Big thing on my mom's side for the men to kiss kids on the top of the head.
My dad was more of the sort to put an arm around you when you sat beside him, but he knew the power of a hug when someone is upset and never hesitated to do so, despite not really liking hugs much. And he was definitely a patter lol. Pats on the head, on the back, just affection by touch.
So, by the time I was a teenager, I was without much of a barrier to hugs. Never got indoctrinated with the stiffness and emotional distance that comes with that barrier. My friend group in high school, we hugged every damn day, usually multiple times a day. We'd meet in the library of a morning and as each of us rolles in, a round of hugs would happen. We'd freely express love for each other verbally too. And not even in the forced jocular "love ya bro" way that started being more acceptable back then. But full on "I love you, I'll see you tomorrow" type goodbyes.
Shit, some of us would hug our teachers, when they'd let us. Obviously, most of them would not allow it, but there were a couple that didn't mind. Gods! The principal! Old guy, retired at the end of my senior year. Handing out diplomas at graduation, and shaking hands. Every one of our group just took the diploma and hugged the guy. He was shocked by it, but he knew how we were, and ended up just smiling for the rest of the ceremony. After the first few of us did it, other students not in our group did it too. He was a superb principal, and was sorely missed.
Imo, there is nothing that builds and maintains healthy relationships like regular hugging.
This is already long, but you mentioned other forms of contact. Snuggling depends on the person, but I gladly snuggle with friends if they're down for it. Can't play wrestle what with my age and bad back, but used to.
And I'm down with cheek kisses with friends too. Hell, I don't even object to non sexual lip kisses in theory, though it isn't a thing that happens very often. Only times it ever happened with male friends was in moments of distraction when saying goodbyes in a group that included spouses lol.
All of these responses are super interesting and run a much wider gamut than I was anticipating. Very nice to see, and makes me happy. :)