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Why does beehaw and Lemmy in general feel so dead?
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this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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I've been commenting less because it feels like the amount of vitriol is going up. Why stress myself with people's responses when no one really cares what I have to say
This is why I skip so many threads. Mostly, I just wanna talk about aquariums, gardening and bikes/ebikes.
As soon as people bring up ________ and __________, I'm out.
terrariums and motorcycles. the worst
There's always someone who's looking to interpret what you say as badly as possible so they can feel good about confronting you about it. I'm not being like "oh people these days are too sensitive", just... some people take everything way too seriously and are looking for things to be upset over and I hate when that's me. Really pokes my anxiety tbh. I want to stress it's not like I'm out here making shitty edgy jokes and then getting upset when no one likes them, it's just day to day comments. I dunno. I overthink a lot about whether I'm the problem, had an extremely negative self image for a long time where I blamed myself for every negative interaction I had and it's hard to let that go.
Like, just happened
https://lemmy.world/comment/9888819
And like there's genuinely good positive replies and interactions, but they don't stick with me like the negative ones do.
I'm mentally fragile I guess, I just honestly do my best to be an understanding and accepting and positive person and it hurts to have somebody think the opposite, even though their opinion has absolutely no bearing on my life. I dunno, it's... I guess it's because I'm trying to be perfectly pleasing people generally and when I fall short of that impossible standard it hurts. I'm massively overthinking this, I know. Just something that's been weighing on my mind.
Just FYI that Beehaw defederated with Lemmy.world, so our experience is a bit different; being defederated from the biggest instance means we avoid most low-effort posting and vitriol, but it also means we miss most (?) of the content on Lemmy.
I'm not entirely sure how it works; I don't know if I can see if someone from Lemmy.world replies to my comments in other communities. I don't think so, since I can't remember ever seeing a Lemmy.world commenter, but I'm not totally clear on how defederation works. I think we just don't see those users at all, including posts/comments they make to other instances?
Correct
A lot of the people online who are doing that don't actually believe you're doing anything wrong. They're not interested in whether or not you're doing anything wrong, they're interested in attacking anyone they can and feeding on people's responses.
Nothing you could ever say would get them to stop. There is no right answer and they don't want there to be. Literally the only thing to do other than argue endlessly is disengage.
Hmm, can't even see the comments. I get you though, I remember hurtful comments from way back. They do kinda stick with ya. People are a lot more confrontational on the internet than they are irl.
Yeah, theres a lot of propaganda and people fighting about it.