this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Programmer Humor
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Just say your profanities aloud and don't let them make it to version control.
In the first major software system I designed and helped build I was a little too open in my comments. For years after that software had entered sunset I'd still get Slack pings along the lines of: "This looks like a Maximum Derek comment: ..." They were all diatribes about whatever was giving me grief when I was writing the code and they would all look perfectly at home in the script for 48 Hours (minus the racial or sexuality slurs).
In my defense we were working with PHP 5.3 at the time.
I grew up in a bit of a sketchy neighborhood and up until my mid 20's all my jobs were the sort where everybody cursed a lot, plus Finns tend to curse a lot in general.
I absolutely have not kept my cursing out of repositories, although looking at my last work project which had about 33000 lines all in all (maybe 2/3 written by me) when including comments, I was surprised to find it only 4 had "shits" and 6 "fucks". One line in an example & test file had both:
and then there's some comments like
Yeah, that's the kind of thing I did only more often. Plus it was back when the conventional wisdom was that 50% of source code should be comments. So there was a LOT.
Honestly I would love to work on a codebase full of profanity, let me know I'm not alone in my anger towards an inanimate object
Also would help make it feel less corporate
Ah PHP 5.3... totally understandable.