this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2024
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[–] deft@ttrpg.network 30 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Any day now those vaxxed will drop dead!!

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I often go by a place were somebody tagged the wall with something that roughly translates to "Half the vaccinated will die".

So half will not? Ever?

[–] brsrklf@jlai.lu 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The other half becomes vampires, obviously.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So, the 5G mind controller chips in it do make sense after all.

[–] PopShark@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

It’s an easy issue to resolve, really. Just install garlic frequency beams to our 5g towers and boom solved the vampire crisis

[–] psud@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Exactly.

Whomever did that tag didn't think enough to notice they're implying that the vaccine gives ethernal life to half those who take it.

(It also neatly illustrates how simplifying one's idea down to a slogan actually increases the chance of ending up implying something else than the idea one wanted to pass)

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Does that mean I won't have to go to work anymore or will they find a way to indenture and monetize my corpse?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Capital zombies. I don't think I've seen that movie done....

[–] nepenthes@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Haha, but if we do, they will follow in a gross and painful fashion: In Canada, 83% of the population received at least one dose. I believe we are ~~39M~~ 40M now (lol, I was sleeping).

So 6,800,000 gonna keep the electricity going; grow and process food; and perform medical procedures? --Oh wait, all the medical people are dead. Speaking of dead, there aren't any firemen to dispose of the 33,200,000 bodies! Damn, biohazard everywhere. I'm assuming their edjumacashun didn't be gud, so I'm not hopeful of their prospects for rebuilding, but I suspect rage will take out who is left before it gets to that point anyways.

Edit: Math is hard

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Surelly at least the food problem and the bodies problem can be solved at the same time by resorting to cannibalism?!

With a bit of luck the vaxxed would drop dead in early Winter, which would help preserve the meat longer.

What's the proportion of the overweight in Canada? I'm thinking maybe the energy problem too can be solved with a proper use of all that fat.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago

Well if we wait long enough, they will! See! We were right all along!