this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2023
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Who hurt you as a child?

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[–] fubo@lemmy.world 120 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

My guesses:

  • Intoxication: They're drunk or high enough that they're not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
  • Narcissism: They're very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren't paying attention to what they're peeing on; just as they don't remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren't the help supposed to do that?
  • Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn't think they were making it any worse.
  • Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.

[–] morgan_423@lemmy.world 79 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Oh, you've got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.

I sit at home, but I don't sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Exactly, don't even sit on it to shit. That's what core muscles are for

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago

And this is why god invented the paper ass gasket

[–] DrQuint@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

This is the way.

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ahhh you're trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don't have to? Why even squat above it when you don't have to? It's laziness / efficiency, dear, not.... πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ™„... fragile masculinity.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.

[–] Llewellyn@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Okay.. how did you get to know about their dirt asses?

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Wahots@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago

I'll give your straight coworkers that one, none of the gay men I know talk about their assholes.

No it's both you should see the amount of men who physically recoil when I tell them I sit to pee

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It's like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?

The only times I won't are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.

[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.

[–] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 7 points 1 year ago

Yank toilets have this wierd bowl design, where there's like 2 litres of water in the bowl at all times

[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lost it at piss lizard 🀣

[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I'm not going to brag, but my junk hangs low. I'm also in the US. Some toilets are ridiculously full by default, especially older models.

[–] weew@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago

there's also the legendary twin stream

[–] Odusei@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You're forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I sometimes switch mine to mist on accident.

I get you, the switch is right there! Such a stupid design.