noctisatrae

I think I’m gonna become a weed farmer then. Better life, better mindset and the music will sound fire.

I’m doing a special version of my baccalauréat where I do both the French exam, and the A Levels

I didn’t watch the whole thing… as the amazing J Cole Says « Nothing New Under The Sun »

Buy a tiny house, put all my music stuff in it, invite some friends and make some synthwave.

Then, boot up Linux, contribute to open-source and reach the highest level of masteries of the C programming language arcanes.

At night, buy good groceries from the store to make super good food and then DM my roleplaying game campaign for my friends and go to bed after a full filling day of meaningful work.

Then try to visit the world, meet people, make friends, talk do stuff and repeat.

I want to work, but work on meaningful stuff.

I’m in the french high school system which are very long working days (which is normal) on uninteresting things with teachers that hate teaching, and classmates with endearing stories but questionable sex lives of which they talk way too much.

In all this shallowness, I have no energy when I get back at home, after doing my shitty math homework, to even boot up my laptop to work on my coding project.

It’s constantly fighting your mind that tells you that there’s more to life, that you should not waste your time with such a poor experience.

But you don’t have self-determination, you just have the responsibilities of going there, putting down a smile, and get fingered for good grades to go to a shitty engineering school teaching Java from 2008 and then work at a shit ass computing job where you’re the genius computer guy installing Adobe Reader on everyone’s PC.

I went to Malawi during 2-weeks for faring in an eco-lodge and I remember that in the contact of new people & nature I felt better than ever, I feel like it’s not my mind but more of the accumulation of shitty stuff everyday.

I’m actually in the situation you lived through, I’m in the french high school system, last year with exams. School has always been hard for me, fighting my mind, being harassed, I’ve come to hate it, I’d be better off on wikipedia learning stuff by myself.

But everyday I’m forced to go to experience the shallowness of people, teachers & educators. I have no energy to do anything but… consume content on my phone to not think about my shitty situation.

And right now, I’m so fed up this existence of student, trapped in the petulent academic system that I can even focus anymore. I can’t think, I can’t write, I can’t remember.

I love making music, I love coding & contributing to open-source, I love writing/DMing tabletop roleplaying games & stories, I love reading fantasy & philosophy (mainly) books, I love to grow gourmet shrooms, I love meeting interesting people, urban exploration

I love the world and what it has to offer, I can not participate in it… I’m stuck in this shitty situation

Meth is still meth lol no just kidding sorry

What are the benefits of Windows server against super snappy Linux servers managed with docker or just an instance on a cloud provider?

EDIT: Listening to Everywhere at the End of Time by The Caretaker didn’t help lol but I don’t know, it was so gripping I couldn’t stop listening… it was like looking in the abyss… and feeling like loosing yourself. I want to make some music like that.

My mind has been conjuring the worse nightmare and sad shits I thought I could imagine. To fight this I decided to release some of my music. There aren’t much people that listened to it (30!!) but the good comments help me get through the last days.

Please narrate lol! Your life is cool, maybe you can give a few anecdotes here and there :((( I don’t understand why people think they’re not interesting

Ah yes the polluting country of assholes where they have no respect for women? Love this country /s