What will be the Windows equivalent to "drink verification can?"

Thanks for the update man, I was on pins and needles wondering what you were going to do after seeing this story! Update us later on what you'll be eating for lunch!

Anyone else think the Sake part of the story is really weird too? Like, is that the preferred pairing with human flesh? Who makes that recommendation? A cannibal sommelier?

He's likely going to be carefully managed for the rest of his life

Let's fucking hope

How is she homeless ? Why doesn’t she have a home in jail after she was caught embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Well that's good

Remember the look on his face when he won? He was horrified! Same when he first met with Obama and they had a joint press conference. His body language was like, "oh fuck, what am I even doing here."

I think regret is hard for him though, because to regret something means you have to feel, in some way, you could have done something better or differently. You have to take ownership of bad feelings and in your part of bad outcomes. I just don't think his brain will let that happen. Everything bad is always someone else's fault.

But yeah...maybe in some dark, cobweb encrusted corner of his mind, he wishes he was just a NY scam artist and fake "tycoon." It served him well enough, as you noted.

This isn't the entire story, just a snippet that was copied from the full story, which is linked in OP.

I practice quiet shitting while at work. I don't let anyone know I'm leaving the office, and I head down the elevator to the downstairs bathroom. It's a nice break from work. I recommend it to anyone.

I remember the install CD had the Weezer “Buddy Holly” video on it. It felt pretty fancy

They should. Send Abbott a bill for polluting their waterway too, while they're at it.

Just in case anyone else, like me, was curious:

Shoulder dystocia is a condition that happens when one or both of your baby's shoulders get stuck during vaginal delivery. There are no signs and no way to prevent the condition. Causes may include having a large baby, having a small pelvis or being in the wrong position