TheBluePillock

joined 11 months ago
[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

This is really sad. While it's valid and understandable to not always be able to hold space for that kind of a conversation or story, at a minimum there are far kinder ways to communicate that than for your partner to just say you're trauma dumping and leave you feeling like this is stuff you should never talk about. A good partner cares enough to listen to those things, and when they ask you not to share, it's more of a, "not right now, let's talk about this later."

I'm not trying to draw any conclusions because there's no way I'd have enough information anyway, but survivors of abusive upbringings are more likely to end up in abusive relationships because so much of that has been normalized (among other reasons). If your partner really accuses you of trauma dumping, that's a bit of a red flag to me and it might not be a terrible idea to talk to friends, family, or a therapist as a sanity check to see if it's nothing or if it's a pattern of how you are treated. If you don't want to do that, journaling can also help a lot with organizing your thoughts and feelings, plus it gives you a record of things in case you forget, downplay them, or are told otherwise and start to doubt yourself.

I really just hope everything is okay though. Stay safe out there, stranger.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I try to minimize what I buy off Amazon, but I allow myself one bag of Frugra per month because I can't get it any other way.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

This is the quintessential McDonald's experience. Every time I give in to that random pang of nostalgia, I know I'm in for some kind of disappointment. It might be a broken ice cream machine, an item that's just out that day or been removed from the menu permanently, or something as mundane as having my order screwed up. In that, ironically, it rarely disappoints.

That'll be $28.73 at the second window.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I don't have a source handy, but from what I remember: yes, a feral child can learn language later, but never to the same level of fluency. It's more like learning a second language. Also there is extremely limited data because it mostly comes from horrifically abusive situations.

If I remember right, the most interesting data came from a study that gathered deaf children from areas where they had no sign language. The young children rapidly developed sign language, but the older children (teens) had a hard time keeping up and did not reach the same fluency.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Steins;Gate. It starts slow, but once it picks up it's amazing and puts all that slow build up to good use. Not sure if it technically counts though. Visual novels are a weird middle ground that aren't really book or game, but there are some really good ones. Definitely the way to go if you're in more of a reading mood but want some art and music to go with it.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

There's a lot we do to give us a feeling that our future is safe, but it never is.

Learning to accept this seems like a normal part of growing older, but man is it rough - especially when the wounds are fresh. Therapy helps. Experience also helps: you survived it once so you can do it again. We can't make ourselves 100% safe and it's genuinely terrifying when you really feel it.

But believe in yourself. When you're ready, you will find ways to feel content and fulfilled. Maybe you work through your trust issues and meet someone new, maybe you don't need to because you have other things in your life that make you happy.

I've done both at different times after having the rug pulled out from under me at least twice now. The third time was almost a blessing because I've been down this road so much. It was like a chance to start a new chapter and find more parts of life I haven't yet lived: new hobbies, new friends, and so many things to learn.

So this isn't some generic platitude. It comes from sitting in the same place you are now. The only real security is your own ability to get back up and start again. You don't have to want to. Just know that you can and will when you're ready.

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

My pixel (5a) only does adaptive charging if your alarm is set for the A.M. If you're second or third shift, it doesn't even try. There's no way to turn it on even in developer options. It was a pretty big wtf when I figured that one out.