I'm trying out Nextcloud soon. If you're on Android this gallery app for Nextcloud is super nice. Link
Nextcloud Memories has good video transcoding support.
Honestly, for how rarely I share videos, I typically just upload them to YouTube unlisted. It's wild how bad Google photos is for video sharing. Doubly bad for Google chat.
I used a self-hosted Nextcloud for a while. It was pretty close to a Google drive stand in. I believe it had similar browser playback for videos
I'm also looking for the same. Everything I've found so far is photos-first. I've tried Plex, Jellyfin, Emby, PhotoPrism and Immich for videos, but no solution is perfect.
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