this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Can you go careening around twisty mountain roads with the top down with a 6 speed manual stick with that watch? No? I'll take my Miata any day. Good luck with your time keeping.

[–] match@pawb.social 12 points 1 day ago

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 10 points 1 day ago

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago
[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

Tell him I still banged your mom tho

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] bluesheep@lemm.ee 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And keep it going whenever you see that person again. "Hey, aren't you that watch guy? Are you wearing the watch today? Where's the watch? Show us your watch!"

perfect, yes 😆

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[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

"Oh, am I supposed to kiss it?"

Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 1 day ago

steals his watch

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

'I can think of many better uses for the metals in that watch.'

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

"Okay and does it tell the time?"

[–] Arigion@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago

I can afford not to have a watch.

What is it for?

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

this movie, glengarry glen ross, was so fucking good. definitely worth a watch if you enjoy watching masterpiece acting. kevin spacey is in it though (his acting is great he just sucks as a person)

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

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[–] Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 days ago

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

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