Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Jesus allegedly came back, they aren't taking those kinds of risks these days
+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)
you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0
This felt like a personal attack
Pope Says he's feeling better now...
The hammer is in fact eight feet long.
They're making really sure.
"One" hit
"Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"
...
...
"What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"
"Three" smash Pope: "OUCH!!!"
...
...
"Now what?"
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
"I fear the Pope has died!"
"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"
*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham
"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."
It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.
"The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!"
Can't let that happen again.
...again?
The events inspired the band Powerwolf.
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Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.
Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.
+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.
I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
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What about the holy hand grenade?
First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.
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my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that
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Live your life such that they have to verify your death
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o
Pope Joan was quizzical...
The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon
Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths
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Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.
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