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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
I knew a guy who drove a taxi for a company in New York back in the 70s and one day he got in a wreck and totaled his cab, and a very large very Italian man came and told him not to worry about it and that everything would be handled and there was no need for paperwork, and that was the end of it.
We have several Community Market arrangements in my town. People who make homemade stuff, like decorations, knitwear, art, crafts, jam, soap etc can book a stand for a day or several. It's extremely exhausting to sit on a shitty chair for 8 hours straight in a crowded place, and especially in the Christmas market when you are half outside and temperatures are close to freezing, so most people book two days in a row at most.
This one group of people just books end-to-end for the entire market duration. Like, weeks. They show up, fill their stand with TEMU crap, and take turns to sit at the stand and consistently sell nothing to nobody.
Growing up west of Orlando, there was this store in the mall that sold like glass figures and porcelain stuff. Never once did I ever see a customer in there. Multiple stores came and went but that one, there since the mall’s opening, remained. When I worked for EB Games at the same mall, we’d always pass it when we dropped off our money and my manager would say it was a front. Everyone I knew called it the Crack Store.
Used to be a Pizza place in my home town that had $1 large pizza on Wednesday no limit, they were the worst pizza in town, but they were packed every week. It went on for years then they got shut down turns out they were using the increase in foot traffic to cover people coming in to buy drugs.
Mattress Firm
The country town my sister lives in had their post office shut down because they were using it as a distribution warehouse for their meth business and most probably money laundering but 100% was running a meth empire from the local post office.
Theres a pizza store near me that always sells the weirdest pizzas, they have beans on pizza and just about everything else. Nobody ever goes in and ive never seen any deliveries leave.
Only one? All vape shops are money laundering fronts, until proven otherwise.
One of our customers operates out of two leased "office" trailers next to an old pole barn in the middle of a corn field.
From there, they "operate" 17 different companies, all demanding separate billing from us.
There's no WAY it's legit. They have more "official" registered companies than they have office employees.
Edited because mobile sucks
There's a falafel place that closes at around 13:00 every day and doesn't seem to really care all that much if you pay or not. I can't imagine it not being a money laundering scheme.
They make great falafel though!
It's one of the three mattress stores within 2 blocks of each other, but I'm not sure which one.
Hint: it's all of them.
Once lived in a small town with not one, but TWO Hollywood Videos. In like the late 20-teens. Just napkin math numbers, you'd need every household in the town to rent a video twice a week to support both of those just maintaining their leases... Over a decade into the age of streaming dominance.
There was no way they weren't doing something shady on the side.
It's way more than one shop. Meh, shop there anyway if you like anything they sell. Chances are your government is blowing ridiculous money on bullshit anyway. Pay cash too when you can. And do everything you can to resist digital spending tracking.
Look if the mattress store is out of business, why do I always see lights on inside after 8:30 PM?
Why would a town with less than 15000 inhabitants need 3 laundromats, 3 hand carwashes and 2 mattress stores? The 4 nightshops are also shady.
The first two are businesses that basically run themselves, you only need someone to show up if something breaks, so it's perfect for someone sitting on a commercial lot.
I know this great money laundering scheme in town. You take filthy money and they turn it into clean tamales. Abuelita has the slickest game in the county
As a kid there was a pizzeria everyone at school said was a money laundering operation, no one knew of anyone who bought pizza there and it was always open... thinking about it now, the town had about 10 000 people living in it, and there was 6 pizzerias and that particular one was in a very odd place and no signage and i have never seen a menu form them anywhere
There used to be a burger joint in my town that had terrible burgers, but they were ridiculously cheap. No idea how they made money, but they were always Russian guys and suits there. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
My town had an extremely generically named "spa" that I passed by all the time and joked that it must be a drug ring and I found out that no actually they were a human trafficking ring and they got shut down by the police.
There was a famous 24h florist in my city that everyone joked had to be a front for something. (Turned out it was drugs.)
Coincidentally, there's a shop in my neighbourhood that's also floral-themed and suspicious as heck: it says it sells flowers, but I only see potted plants (that don't appear to be for sale) and earrings on display stands (which do appear to maybe be for sale) when I peek in the window. I've lived here for many years, and I've never once seen it open, no matter what time of day or day of the week I walk past. With rent constantly rising and quite a lot of businesses in the street closing or moving away, it seems highly suspicious that this one could be turning a profit without ever being open.
Nah they make good steak and shrimp and they don't bother me so Ima leave them alone. There are much bigger criminals to worry about in this country than shady local businesses.
The auction centre every time they sell art (or whatever some of that stuff is supposed to be).
There was a dog grooming salon in Nottingham with curtains over the windows. Other than the woman who ran the place, no one (or dog) ever went in or came out that we saw.
There are three recently opened smoke and vape shops in my village that are 100% money laundering schemes, they all sell American sweets as well for some reason
In my country, it’s the casinos. They naturally receive cash predominantly, and can easily launder millions. Everything else is small potatoes.
There is a rug store here that has been "going out of business" for decades. Since before they moved to their current location in a massive new building.