Programmer Humor

spinning up new tech startup: nah forget it. you don't even have to watch videos

"Ok, so what you can see in the logs?"

"Sweetcorn."

I can consider acceptable for the kettles to be connected to the internet if, and only if, they answer always with a 418 status code.

If it doesn't work well without the Internet, it's a bad investment. Features that require the Internet degrading a bit is one thing, but if a toilet or toaster can't do its basic job offline, it was ewaste the second it rolled off the factory line.

The difference between an IT person and a tech enthusiast

Making "smart" devices that can't do routine mundane things without an active internet connection is completely fucking stupid.

My sister's new apartment's front door has a "smart lock", hooked up to Ring, naturally. No keyhole, you open it with your phone. It also runs on batteries.

Do I really need to say any more? We were baffled.

EDIT: Correction - there IS a keyhole but the actual tenants don't have access to it. Only the property management. Creepy. :|

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

Douglas Adams

Has nobody else pointed out this is clearly not real?

I've put a few smart lights/switches/sensors/power points in at home. Definitely helps mum as we can have wireless switches for the lights, and motion sensors to turn the hallway lights on automatically as well.

For ALL of them, I make sure there is a manual control that will work as a backup regardless. Even if a smart light is "off" due to the motion sensor not detecting movement, all you need to do is turn the old regular light switch off then back on and the light will default to being back on.

The fact that everything is controlled through "The Cloud" and some godforsaken subscription service is so terribly sad, funny, and horrifying at the same time. We've literally found every conceivable way to gather and sell people's data while simultaneously milking them out of every last cent with the whole FOMO mentality driven through every piece of hardware and software now sold. It is just absolutely fucking preposterous. We're living in a virtual hellscape that doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon.

Anything in my house smarter than the IKEA remote control light switch gets crushed with a hammer.

Well, shit.

Who buys a toilet you can only flush with an app??

I don't think any of these people know what "smart" is supposed to mean cause these must be the dumbest ideas for any product I've heard so far.