this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
110 points (97.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

28917 readers
1100 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Not like, casual "Hi, how are you?" but seriously, how are you? Are you sleeping okay, is everything in your personal life going all right? And if not, can Internet strangers do anything to help?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Azal@pawb.social 4 points 6 days ago
[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That "No" buttons looks sexier every night.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel that, just gotta keep on keeping on though. Even if today sucks, tomorrow could be better, and you can only hit the no button once.

It's a real sexy no button though.

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

From my experience life is a ball rolling down a hill. It never gets higher than the day before and if it hits the bottom you die.

Your birth decides the starting height and your effort decides the slope.

I started somewhere in the lower middle and put zero effort into life. Now I'm not even half way past others but I'm already near the bottom.

Let's say I'm not exactly expecting a natural end to my life at this stage.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is my life story. Every day, I understand more and get closer to "old man lives alone with his dog in the woods"

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah, except I can't afford a dog or woods.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] potate@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm okay as long as I don't doom scroll too much.

I'm Canadian and middle aged. I was braced for a rough Trump 2.0, but the last month has truly exceeded expectations for suck. Our country is under economic attack by our biggest trading partner. Human rights and trying to help and support each other are suddenly considered bad things. Our window to address climate change is snapping shut as our leaders around the world move in the wrong direction. I'm feeling really good about my decision to not have kids at least.

On the plus side, my sick cat is responding to treatment, and my partner and I have just set up a nursery - we're going to start fostering wee kiddos whose families are going through rough spots. I've got some financial flexibility so I'm treating myself to a stack of coffee gift cards each week that I hand out to folks who look like they could use it. Sorta makes my day to be able to make sure someone unhoused gets a warm drink and some food.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Politics is absolutely a mess right now, part of the impetus for this thread lol

I'm so glad your kitty is responding to treatment! It's so scary when they're sick, I hope they get better soon.

I love the coffee card idea! When I have some extra cash at the end of a paycheck I might steal that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Expect a lot of fearful people who are expecting their medicaid to get cut and lose access to healthcare.

As someone with cancer, that's what I'm going through.

Not much can be done. The suffering is the point. The majority will not stand up for people like me.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm definitely expecting a lot of fear, I know I'm pretty terrified myself.

I'm so sorry, you just shouldn't have to worry about your healthcare being dropped randomly, especially not in the middle of treating something. I hate that I can't make your situation any better, I'm just sorry you're facing that.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm in the USA, I've been seeing this harrowing bullshit for a long time. Long before it affected me personally. I've been angry about it for a long time. Nothing changes, everything gets worse. I'm just a statistic. It is what it is.

Thank you for the kindness, however. The kindness does matter.

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't make fast enough progress with what I'm currently doing in my job (VM images with distrobuilder and cloud-init to call ansible-pull, if you're into that kind of masochist thing), I get too little sleep because my body insists in waking me up 1h early every day, my 4yo sleeps in bed with my wife instead of me and I miss her terribly, and though we do make good money, it's still kind of tight.

OTOH, we're having a spontaneous long weekend getaway with my brother's family and for friends in a mountain cottage coming up that we're all really looking forward to, so there's that. There will be multiple dogs, we're gonna light a fire and make bread on sticks and marshmallows, and we'll have a wonderful view over Saxon Switzerland.

But at least equally important: how are you?

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Too little sleep is rough, I was up at midnight tonight so that really resonates with me right now lol. Maybe the kid'll get comfortable sleeping alone soon so you can get your bed back?

Long weekend, multiple dogs, and nice views though? That sounds fantastic, I hope you enjoy it!

Edit oops: I'm doing okay, actually! I've been getting treated for depression and it seems to be working, I've been having an easier time kinda dealing with life despite the whole everything.

I also totally have a concert coming up, I'm gonna see my favorite band (Delain) next month and my husband's gonna gonna drive me so I don't have to park or stay sober or anything, I'm looking forward to it :D

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

despite the whole everything

Oh shit, I forgot about the whole everything! We've had elections here in Germany and it's going as you would expect, with fascists making massive gains everywhere, and them there's the US and the environment and the war in Ukraine (which is not very far away from here), well, the whole everything. We even have a German word for it: Gesamtscheiße (roughly translates to "the overall shit")

You can and should be very proud for getting help for your depression. Good job on surviving, I'm glad to hear that therapy is working. From what I understand, it's a never ending fight against an enemy that gets stronger while you blink, so don't give up. Have a meme:

Have fun with Delian!

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I just bought my first home and I move in tomorrow. So really good. I come from a buttfuck nowhere conservative town and I own property on vancouver island now. Hell yeah!

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Congratulations! That's hella frickin exciting! After you get it all furnished and everything it's gonna be fantastic, not having a landlord to pay rent to is so nice.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah my place is going to look like Rust Cohle's house for a bit here. I have nothing left to buy furniture. All I have is my computer and desk, a futon, a tv, and a mattress. LOL

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] b3an@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Every day hearing stuff about Trump is eating away at me. I remember four years ago. Depression settled in. I’m afraid for the next four years of this. It’s only been like 5 weeks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I feel like deflated Squidward every day.

[–] Pika@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I'm thankful to be alive, did my oil change in my car today, my new ramps that were supposed to be good for 10k lbs snapped as I was driving off them with my 3k lbs Malibu. Least I was behind the wheel and not under the car.

Amazon didn't even bother having me return them, they were like "oh shit OK yea going to skip offering a replacement and sending the old ones back, here's your money back".

Other than that though, feeling accomplished, I haven't been doom-scrolling as much lately and I've started straying away from more political posting's because I found that there isn't much I could do regarding everything and it was starting to dampen the mood.

Looking at the brighter things in life I have found helps tremendously in keeping positivity alive.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

An actual list of the "problems everyone hopes they never have" category of our various problems is pretty long right now, and many of them are more personal than I want to share.

Shit's not the worst it's ever been for us currently, but financially it's closer than my wife realizes it is (because she's got enough to deal with right now), and (gestures around at everything Trump related) I'm figuring several of our problems are going to get worse before they get better.

I've got long and medium term plans to sort most of it out, but like all such plans they depend on the short term stuff going at least more or less as I hope, and on the complete collapse of US society not actually happening.

Glib sounding yet serious response in meme-form because this really is how it's looking so far in my mid-late 50s:

OP sounds like a nice person for posting such a thread, and I hope you are doing well sir or madam. 🙂

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I get not wanting to share anything too personal, totally no worries. I'm glad you have plans at least! I think we're all crossing our fingers that the US doesn't totally collapse, it's interesting times to say the least. Hopefully whatever happens doesn't hit you two too hard. I think as long we get through this mess things can start getting better.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I am quite unwell for the most part. I spend most of my time alone. I'm either at home playing games in a filthy room (because I never have the energy to clean it) or I'm at the low-paying job I hate surrounded by people I'm either indifferent to or despise. As for a personal life, that's about it. The only person I'm close to is my sister and we don't even want to talk to eachother at least fifty percent of the time. I'm in my mid-twenties, can't drive, and I live with my parents who I believe would have kicked me out if they didn't feel sorry for me. Mental illness runs in my family so I don't bother talking to them about it because they're all dealing with their own shit. I feel no excitment for anything. I spend most of my time bored and alone which I hate to admit. I know it's not, but it feels almost shameful. I'm not going to jump off anything in case anyone is worried, I just wanted to take this opportunity to vent.

got hit by a basketball a week ago on my left thumb and it still hurts, but whatever, luckily if it gets worse I can just go to the town hospital and get it fixed for free

I do worry for all that's happening in the USA and for what that means for us Europeans, but there's not much I can do apart from voting

Parents are still on the far right ideology, I made the accident of mentioning politics and they said Zelenskyy is a dictator put in power by Biden, and that Putin is right by attacking them because they tried to join NATO...

Whatever. I just hope I get old enough to not get drafted when Putin decides to invade us.

I'm slowly prepping for whatever is to come, but money is tight, and nothing's helping.

I'm sleeping decently thanks to meds, but I still have many issues at home and at work because of ADHD, and I often end up lying on my bed with many things to do, no energy to do them, and at the same time too much energy to rest, which only fuels my frustration.

I have a couple hobbies I do when I'm not terribly down, but they don't involve leaving my home and my social circle reflects that, I have a couple of distant friends left and even just the thought of a partner is light years away

but hey, my dog's happy

man, I wish I was my dog

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've been sleeping like shit. The air mattress I sleep on has a slow leak and deflates halfway through the night. It's also been cold af for the last 3 months and the baseboard heater isn't enough to heat the room.

On the bright side I finally found a job, so the threat of homelessness is subsiding. I'm looking forward to getting a real bed, now that I know I'll have a place to keep it.

Relative to the last several months, I'm doing amazing. Thanks for asking.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Sleep is like it's always been. Tired in the morning and awake in the evening. The lack of daylight in the winter is getting worse and worse the older I get.

Other than that quite good and slowly getting better.

Living on public housing only with food stamps and little money from my aging mother, can't afford anything, barley can eat, disabled and can't work although been applying everywhere but disabilities means I'm disabled. But government says I don't exist, wants to take the little things I have away like food and shelter, government says I can work because I can checks notes "fold laundry" and "work a telephone switchboard".

Been like this for the last 10 years battling every day to just exist

Oh and don't forget the government internment camps that I probably will be forcefully joining next couple years because I'm different

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

It's a mix. The heating is out on my apartment, so it's currently 55 degrees in here, and i have no clue when the furnace will be fixed. My kitties don't seem to mind, but it's definitely feeling frigid. On the plus side, i sign a lease for a new apartment walking distance from my job on Friday, so won't be a problem for long. I had to get an advance on my pay, but it will be worth it to be able to walk to work everyday. Financially i am fucked, but that's been no different for the past year, so I'll just have to accept that

[–] mrodri89@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

I am doing better as I realize a lot of things are out of my hands.

I voted, show up to protests when I can, boycott the companies at Trump's inauguration.

So I joined a gym to go to classes to force myself out of the house and trying to read more to deprogram the effects of social media on my attention span.

But overall im exhausted and have this underlying worry of what dreams I've been having lately. I don't believe that much in messages received in dreams but I've had some trippy moments lately.

[–] naught101@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Pretty good! Doing things that feel meaningful and interesting. Able to follow global politics and read in ways that couldn't 3 years ago due to work stress. Life situation is excellent. I feel very lucky, and trying to use that to make myself useful.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I'd say it's a middle-ground situation.

I'm 31, yet still can't afford my own apartment, not without being on a waiting list. Meaning I'll probably get my own proper apartment by the time I'm 40.

However, it's not so bad, because I'm sharing a place with my younger brother.

Unfortunately, though, my younger brother is an avid Musk supporter.

My job, Just Eat, just got bought by a major tech company. 4th biggest in the world, I think. So om worried about what that's going to mean.

However, Just Eat in Denmark has a strong trade union club, and I'm an active member in it. Might even become Co-representative one day.

It is unfortunate, however, that all this is taking away from what I love doing. I practice 3D modelling, animation. I'm slowly learning about game programming. I do 2D art. I have this science fiction universe with characters and aliens and adventures i want to make something with. But between my job, the furry commissions I have to make, and some freelance work I do for a Bionicle project, there is very little time left to work on my own ideas.

[–] Ardyssian@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Honestly, I'm worried about my job and how difficult it will be to get another if I get laid off (I work in Tech) due to business shenanigans and things out of my control. My mental health is at an all time low because of the anxiety; last month it was due to Trump and Elon's attack on the integrity of US Govt Services, and before that the looming climate crisis. It's affecting my sleep and recently I get slight headaches throughout the day. I'm so tired of feeling anxious all the time.

I'm burnt out mentally; if I get laid off this year I'm just going to activate my NZ Working Holiday Visa (applied in advance in expectation of layoffs) and just chill.

[–] Corno@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Besides worrying that my country might be invaded by the US in the not so distant future, I'm doing good! 😃 I've got everything I need and my health is good. I've got some slight art block going on at the moment, so I'm mostly playing videogames in my free time which usually tends to inspire me haha.

[–] macrocarpa@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Working for the weekend, man.

[–] Zerlyna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

My sleep has been off the last few nights. Waking up every couple hours. And I take sleeping meds to boot. I have a big audit Friday (I’m the lead auditor and it’s my first major one) so I’m hoping the next few nights are better so I’m on top of my game.

[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Any fellow insomniacs or any neurologists have some obscure wisdom? I truly don’t sleep. Since 2015, likely earlier, my sleep latency is forever, I keep waking up if I do fall asleep, and I wake up too early. When I do sleep, according to an inpatient sleep study, I barely get to stage 3 sleep for a few minutes and hang out in stage 1 & 2. There is no REM sleep happening. I have limb movement multiple times a minute. I was prescribed a CPAP a few years ago and it hasn’t helped, even with strict adherence to use. The AHI is only between 0 and 0.4 any night of the week. You name a medication, on and off label use, and I’ve tried it. My sleep hygiene is impeccable. I keep thinking one good night’s sleep will fix me, but at this point, I’ve lost hope.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm the opposite of an insomniac - I'm a rabid sleeper and love sleep. I usually hit 9 hours a day, sometimes more.

Here's what works for me - most obviously won't work for you, but give some another try if you haven't done them yet -

  • Clean your bedsheets every couple days. Clean sheets = 😍
  • Wash your hair well and shower right before getting into bed. No smell = 🥰
  • Use white noise. You'll never get perfect silence, so drown out noise instead
  • Turn off every single LED and light in your room. Don't have a single light source visible while you're in bed.
  • Get an eye mask - a high quality one - if you can't do the above.
  • Do the workout of your lifetime - Do an all-day hike or something. You can clock out from physical exhaustion
  • Get in and out of bed at the same time every day. Start with less sleep time than you need. Force your body to recognize "I only rest in this bed"
  • Conversely, don't do anything in your bed besides sleep. Especially don't use your phone with the nasty blue light
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›