Ask Lemmy

Assuming they're the type of zombie with no viable circulatory system to help stay warm, I'd relocate up to the Arctic for a while.

Buy a shotgun. Shoot myself. 😆

Oh, and get drunk.

Have two days of just absolute living it the absolute fuck up.

And buy a bottle of nitrogen and a non-rebreather mask.

My plan would be "go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over"

Go online.

Research how many sleeping pills it takes to die.

Go out and buy them.

Spend time doing things I enjoy with people I like.

Crush the pills up into a drink and pound it.

Go to sleep.

Life's already hard. I don't need to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

Realistically the military will eventually clear everything, I just have to survive the weeks it would probably take.

Id buy a bunch of shelf stable food, a wood burner, bunch of lumber for barricading, nails, portable batteries for keeping out phones charged, a big battery for the router (even when thr power is down, internet isnt), guns. A bunch of bottled water too. A bunch of hand sanitizer too to clean out hands constantly if needed

I think thats all I'd need to sit this out. I think the hardest part would be convincing family that theres gonna be a zombie Apocalypse

#1: Cardio

Probably procrastinate for 48hrs.

Hole up in Costco for two weeks or so.

The rotting corpses who only hunger for flesh are going to be eaten by animals and bugs. Because they don’t have regular ways to maintain water balance for muscles they will atrophy and become immobile. They will pretty much be a non threat while I have plenty of food and shelter to last me.

Probably kill myself

Stock up, stay inside, and wait for the zombies to die from either dehydration or starvation.

Get some plants to fight them

Go shopping. Enough to last for a couple of months. Bring some water, as well. Buy some lumber to reinforce the doors. A few steel panels to close off a few strategic places. Raid the library.

Wait a month and allow flies and the weather do their thing.

See the not-so-dead fall apart.

After I stop seeing movement for three straight days, start blasting noise on a high visibility location from my location and wait to see what crawls out.

By this time, I risk two months have already elapsed.

Go out, with a shovel and an axe.

Dig a large pit, fill it with fire wood. Lay down a few of the corpses. Stack it as high as I can make it. Cover with more fire wood.

Syphon some diesel from a random car.

Light it up!

Rinse, repeat, until all the corpses I can find are disposed of, grouping together all the survivors I come across.

Start over.

Buy a lot of toothpaste and toothbrushes.
And I would ask those hordes of zombie to brush their teeth before they try to bite me as I would not want to get sick and maybe contagious right before I'm eaten alive.

Get gun, fishing rod and tackle, salt water filters, and those mre buckets bible thumpers are always selling on tv. Go to the marina and steal a keelboat. Dab on all the land lubbers still on shore.

Living on an upper floor comes in handy for once, as it's actually fairly easy to barricade the front door. Alert some key close friends and family members who will actually believe me. Then stock up on canned goods, fill every possible thing I can with water, and grab some camping solar kits for power once the grid goes down.

After that? Hunker down. Avoid being clearly seen in windows or heard to prevent attracting the undead. I reckon I need to last about 6-9 weeks.

See, the thing is, zombies are going to die out. The average human can go 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food. Let's assume zombies have a magical lack of need of hydration, so they last 3 weeks. Double that for the time they'll have ample food. Assume another 3 weeks that they'll cannibalize each other or something.

At that point, I can begin to venture outside. Small numbers of capable zombies may still exist, but most will be dead or starving. Other survivors are my greatest worry.

Stock up on canned food, ammo, batteries, fuel etc. Go to a cabin in the wilderness far away from everything. Check that I've got the essentials, realize I forgot something. Go back to town to pick it up. Go back to cabin, go back to town to print out some guides on how to preserve food, go back to cabin.

Get black market explosives so I can blow up my brains and don't risk becoming a zombie.