this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 39 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Me: "There should be a Boy Scouts for adults."

Me, 3 seconds later: "Oh yeah. Military..."

[–] ubermeisters@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

As a life long boy scout (cub scouts through eagle scout) and as a navy veteran, I feel qualified to tell you the military is definitely not adults boyscouts.

The military is more like that game you hear about high school dudes playing in the locker room, where everyone Jerks off on a cooki, but the last to cum has to eat the cookie. That's basically exactly what the military is like. If you aren't a big enough jerkoff, you get the cookie. Everyone around you is always jerking off. And all you do is think about how much you don't want to be the one eating that cookie.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"Oh no... I guess I have to eat the cookie again." - My gay ass

[–] ubermeisters@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Lmao.

🎵IN THE NAVY🎶

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Cut out the cookie...

[–] Dax87@forum.stellarcastle.net 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

that sounds like something a seaman would say

[–] ubermeisters@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Hey now I was an airman, not a seaman. We get testee about that lol

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

George first taught the Army the Cookie Doctrine at Valley Forge, but then their dicks started to freeze and break off

[–] Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world -1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Armies didn't exist before George Washington

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 0 points 8 months ago

ours didn't

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Then there is "hurry up and wait". "Everyone has to cum on the cookie by 5am but stare at it until 2pm."

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Icky cookie?

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

I just want a NOLS type thing for adults instead of just teens.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Question: are potatoes a vegetable. If so, do I get that badge if I eat French fries?

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

culinary terms are pretty arbitrary but when a dietician extolls eating vegetables they're not talking about starches like potatoes and corn

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

So you’re saying that potatoes aren’t really a vegetable, so it’s a bit of a starch to count them as such in your diet?

[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Yes. Approved by me.

[–] uncouthterran@reddthat.com 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Would actually be down to have these on a denim jacket or something

[–] Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Be the change you want to see

[–] HairyOldCoot@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

We don't need no stinking badges!

(Just in case: not hate, just a possibly obscure reference)

[–] TryingToEscapeTarkov@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre or Blazing Saddles?

[–] HairyOldCoot@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 months ago

Yep, Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

[–] owatnext@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

These unlock the trophy hunter in me.

[–] ubermeisters@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I'd like to introduce you to Geocaching

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

This is what video game achievements are for. They give adults the feedback life usually doesn't give.

[–] wmcduff@kbin.social 5 points 8 months ago

If somebody actually wants merit badges, the Rebel Badge Club exists.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I would enjoy shows a lot more if I could stop at just 1 episode.

[–] ellaella_ayayay@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I'd never get that Netflix badge.

[–] guyrocket@kbin.social 4 points 8 months ago

Well this is depressing AF. I think I need to pay my bills now and do other mind-numbingly boring and mundane tasks.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I will get the bottom left and right badges one day, I swear.

[–] FlordaMan@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Very good meme! I likey very much.

[–] M137@lemm.ee -4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The "ate a vegetable" is more of a kids badge, though. Adults generally like vegetables more than kids and choose to eat them more often.

I feel like this was made by some 'murican whale that only eats fast food and drinks soda.

[–] daddyjones@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm an adult, I'm not American, I don't only eat fast food or only drink soda, but I do hate vegetables.

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

Same, am whale. Plankton ftw.