this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
408 points (97.4% liked)

Microblog Memes

6025 readers
1255 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 46 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"Thats the bees knees" is my goto.

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DashboTreeFrog@discuss.online 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago

a whole caravan of ass

[–] nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 4 points 3 weeks ago

It's just their knees, it's all g.

[–] FleetingTit@feddit.org 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Both sexes can have or lack tits. So the first one is okay, the second one is sexist.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Who said anything about sex? I’d rather read an essay comparing these:

[–] riskable@programming.dev 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just keep these fellas out of it:

Blue footed booby bird

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

They’ll eat all the nuts for sure!

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

In the same way people of all genders can have tits, so can people of all genders have nuts, so if that's your reasoning, either both are sexist, or neither are.

[–] FleetingTit@feddit.org 5 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If you read my comment carefully you will notice that I was talking about Sex, not Gender.

[–] elidoz@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

ovaries are just nuts in the inside

[–] riskable@programming.dev 4 points 3 weeks ago

I Snickers at this comment.

[–] PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Colloquial "sexism" is heavily based on gender, so if you want to be precise you should probably use another phrase entirely

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

And if you knew anything about either, you'd know that both are a spectrum, so your argument is still invalid

https://scatter.wordpress.com/2022/01/30/sex-as-a-social-construct/

https://www.nature.com/articles/518288a

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

pick something neutral - that's the shit.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

Hey everybody poops...except for Kim Jung Un, so maybe don't use that one on holiday in North Korea...

[–] Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

No no, the neutral ground is the taint.

[–] youstolemyname@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Not to be confused with "shit"

[–] Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

I’m pretty sure that everyone likes boobs, and nuts are just not awesome in any way. If someone’s using nuts as a superlative thing, their priorities are definitely askew.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Hard disagree. Nuts are awesome. They're soft, and they're fun to play with, and they're also a fantastic emergency stop button in a fight

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Um, are they supposed to be soft? I might need to see my doctor.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The testes themselves aren't soft ime, but if we're talking about the overall (scrotum + testes), then I would say it's pretty soft.

Though I'm going to take this moment to soapbox about the importance of regular testicular self examinations: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/testicular-cancer/how-to-check

The key thing is checking regularly enough that you know what's normal for you, and thus can see a doctor if there are any unexpected changes in shape or texture. (Apologies for lecturing in reply to what was probably a joke)

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My doctor has been extolling this (correct) perspective lately and you are excellent for supporting it.

But because the original post was a joke, I have to share: I've never had a professional testicular examination before. I'm in my late thirties now and recently changed doctors due to moving. My new doctor, the first time I saw her, offered diagnostic testicular palpation. I declined, as I had no cause for concern, then when I got home told my wife how surprised I was at the suggestion. (Not offended or anything, just caught off guard.)

My wife, whom you might have guessed is a woman, was not sympathetic to my surprise, as she'd had genital inspections throughout her life.

I normally try to make the last line of a post like this pithy and humorous, but three other conversations I have going on in the background have robbed me of any joy as I typed this (if you knew me you probably would observe the change in tone between paragraphs), so I will merely present this as factual.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Late thirties?

Suprised by a doctor offering to fondle your balls?

... Might not be long before they insist on calling Doctor Proctor in for a... mildly invasive exam.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Turbofish@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You can also grab twist em upside down and squeeze them into a wee little fly face to thrill all your future partners.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Bop em! Twist em! Pull em!

I didn't like your comment and I didn't like posting this response, but commenting this seemed necessary.

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

At least your reply gave this one person a good chuckle, so you have that going for it lol

[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 weeks ago

Dude that's nuts

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's such a straight male thing to say

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ignoble_stigmas@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago

I agree, and moreover, no one is allergic to boobs, but people are dying from nuts allergies!

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

They look like a mountain range covered in cheap shampoo and burnt trees.

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

That's nuts, my friend.

Ok but that scrote skin is definitely pretty great.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Just say it's ass, then you're good. Unless that's assogynist

[–] CrayonRosary@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

This post is the clap.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 10 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I used to say 'the bomb' until I thought about it a bit. Am I really comparing your slick dance move to nuclear annihilation? How does that work out?

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 5 points 3 weeks ago

Is it da bomb bc it's so good that it blew people away, or so bad that it bombed?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

The lap dance was a bomb, I just exploded in my pants

[–] lud@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago

To be fair the vast majority of bombs aren't nuclear.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

This post is the reproductive and/or maternity organs.

[–] str82L@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

It's the duck's guts

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 4 points 3 weeks ago

You could split the difference and say nuits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb-xyNa9mwI

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 weeks ago

This thread is the cloaca.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›