this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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top 24 comments
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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

At some point parents just say, "Fuck it. Want to fall on your head? That's you."

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How did that even happen? It looks like some invisible force yeeted the baby to the side?

[–] Specific_Skunk@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Have you met babies? They are eating, pooping, suicide machines.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Can you blame them? Two people decide to fuck each other and then a whole-ass new person has to work and pay taxes and suffer for 80 years? I'm still not over it.

[–] tym@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The smart ones off themselves by age 5!

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It sure seems that way! Have you heard of that game where you have to constant try to prevent the baby from suiciding lol??

[–] codRL@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yeah I lived through that simulation with my daughter up to age 3.

Edit: loved to lived

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope she grew out of it after age 3, and didn't just like... win the game.

[–] codRL@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago

She grew out of it! My comment was kind of ominous now that I look back on it, haha!

[–] killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Best is when you're holding with two hands/arms and you take the top one away for one second and that's when they decide to go for a gold medal landing.

[–] Even_Adder@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In a fit of rage, she threw her self back in preparation for a rolling tantrum without anything to catch her.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It's like a toddlers oldest instinct, just flex all of the back muscles and fly backwards. I'd be sitting on the floor with my son, tell him to stop throwing toys, boom, head hits the floor.

[–] amio@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

Toddler Crackhead Energy +physics. She flexed her back pretty suddenly. Toddlers are pretty top heavy, and that arm rest is kinda rounded, so... flop, thunk.

The momentum kept the head out of harm's way, though, so that's nice.

[–] Usernamealreadyinuse@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is some proper: fuck you, I'll do what I want behaviour!

I work at a daycare. Today I had to write an incident report about a kid who tantrumed so hard she hurt herself. The little dipshit reacted to me telling her she can't drink window cleaner by ragdolling with enough force to leave a bruise on her forehead. Her mom did not seem surprised when she heard what happened.

Stg children will actively try to kill themselves over nothing.