Asklemmy

I had met a girl online when I was in college. She knew some friends of mine through an online game we all played. She was going to be in my home town, I decided to come home for the weekend to meet her in person. It also happened to coincide with a Burger King opening in town (small rural town, so it was a big deal) I asked her to go on a date with me to BK. She agreed, and also being from a small town she understood the big deal of the opening.

While we were waiting in line to order one of the guys I went to high school with tried to sell me an 8 ball and a sheet of acid. He got really pushy, so I decided it was time to leave. She was oblivious to the situation and just wanted to order dinner.

We ended up outside of town at a bonfire instead. Never really did get that first date, but I did marry her 5 1/2 years later.

I dated a person who had a non-identical twin. A month later, I went on a date with the twin, not knowing they were family. I hit it off way better with twin #2 and continued going on dates for a bit. The introduction to family and realization they were twin to #1 was awkward to say the least.

Met a guy on Tinder. We were both of the same country of origin so we decided to meet. He said there was a nice national park nearby with beaches we could check out.

Neither of us had been there before. When we finally made it to the small, secluded beach we realised it was a nudist beach and favored by older gay couples. Most of the people were men in their 60s just enjoying their day.

We were the only two dressed so it was sort of awkward. He apologized a lot for picking a nudist beach, he had no idea. I found it hilarious. We were not each other's vibe after all but we had a good day in spite of the awkward setting

I wanted to take a girl out. But I wanted to do something fun. I was sick of getting coffee; watching movies is worse. It’s just fuckin awkward. I had taken a girl some time before for beers and ping pong one time, and we had a fuckin BLAST. And so, I thought to myself, what is fun? Like ping pong fun? I know! Go karts are fun! Let’s do some go karts!

And so for my first date with this poor girl we went to a go karts place and got in our little go kart suits and raced go karts around the track. That was the day that I learned that not all girls like go karts. Idk; she thought I was unique I guess; she tried to have a good time and we kept seeing each other after. But she referred to the go karts date as her “trauma” and regularly gave me shit for it after, and for my general lack of any kind of adult understanding of women or life in general.

TL;DR apparently I am 12 years old I guess

We went to a bar where she immediately bumped into a friend. They talked for over 30 minutes about old times and friends I didn’t know. I felt so awkward I just left without a word. I doubt they noticed.

First date with someone who absolutely hated Apple started talking about getting a smart phone (this was around 2010) and how she should probably get an iPhone cause it's better but boy does she hate Apple.

I'm just sitting there, can't believe this moment is happening cause it's the sort of thing you'd see scripted in a movie or tv show. She finishes hating Apple and asks btw what do I do?

"I work for Apple on the iPhone."

She practically choked she was so surprised, laughing, and feeling embarrassed. We ended up dating for a while and remained friends after.

We dated over the phone because we're from different continents both eating a favorite food of mine 😂 she told me I was way more confident than the usual shy guy I was so she got a bit shy. I could hear her telling her family to not interrupt her because she was on a date.

We realized we were both from ~~Hassia~~ Hesse (a German state) and from that moment on we just talked in that dialect and made jokes for the rest of the day. It didn’t work out between us but it was a super fun date.

One time when I worked at a hardware store, I was loading concrete bags for a woman and I asked her, "you wanted eight?" to confirm how many she requested. She asked back, "do I want a date??" Anyway, I was too shy to pretend that I was asking her out, so this comment is only sort of about dating.

"No homo" immediately after having sex for the first time, we have been together for 8 years now

(We are lesbians this isn't homophobia)

i walked my date to the taxi office, she proceeded to pull her phone out and call the taxi office from inside unaware of her own location, i glanced at the lady at the desk talking to my date over the phone then with a massive smirk i stared at my date who was unaware. once she noticed me grinning the penny had fallen.

IDK about funny but I asked a girl out for the first time in my life as a young adult like 19 or 20 We met at a bar and I was already nervous. Within the first five minutes I started hyperventilating and had to leave due to a massive anxiety attack. I was so embarrassed that I never contacted her again.

I had a few nice girlfriends as a teen but this one was so special it made me a nervous wreck and caused me way too much anxiety.

In high school I was invited to be a third wheel for a friend who I'm pretty sure had never been on a date before. He was so nervous he ended up knocking over a large glass full of ice water. Twice.

We were taking a walk by the sea on a cold-ish winter night. Some stupid teens got up on the walls at the edge of the quay and started posing for photos and shit. Just as one of them was in the middle of yelling to her friends something about how not-scary it was up on that wall, two of them lost their balance and fell in the water. It was a big splash. I mean it was not good for those two kids of course, but the timing could not have been more hilariously perfect.

(FYI: this is divorcées attempting to date)

Went on my 1st date after divorce. Sat down together at a café. After greeting each other, she immediately asks "So when do you intend to move to my town?". I reply by saying "Whoa! Take it slow. Let's get to know each other first!" and feeling that she can't be serious about her question.

She, however, explodes in my face that she has a life and a kid in that other town and no time to waste. I managed to reply that I have a life and kids in this current town we're in, too, before she jumps up and storms away cursing.

Not the most conducive first post-marital dating experience.

You guys are getting dates?

April 1st.

Always funny