A girl in college once told me I have "beautiful, horse-like legs". I did martial arts at the time and my calves and thighs were very well toned, but I was actually a little self-conscious about them, and I had never considered horses to be particularly beautiful so I kind of took it as an insult after walking away from the conversation. It wasn't until I relayed the story to a colleague a few months later that they told me it was probably a genuine compliment.
this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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I was told "No, you're intimidating". I forget exactly how it became the topic. It was an ex who said it and it was supposed to be a compliment in context. I still don't understand it especially compared to the friend whom I was with.
I am not tall, not heavy, not particularly muscular (especially at that time) and have soft features. My friend is a head taller, twice my size, built heftier/stockier and had sharper features. He is a big ol hairy Aussie. Awesome guy, no idea how I'd be more intimidating than him though
Honestly I've noticed a lot of it is confidence and mannerism. My partner has a friend who's over 6ft and 250lb who got stabbed and mugged within a month of living in our city. I'm a little under six foot, 120lb, and I'm an acute psych nurse specializing in the management of high violence risk patients, and I'm friends with at least a few of the homeless dudes (they make great drinking buddies, they know all the best area gossip).
While most of what I do is just not taking stupid chances, a significant portion over it is just "swagger" and being willing to take charge of a situation and get something done when it needs to be. I suspect it was a compliment because you were asking at the time why you're not as well-liked or approachable as you'd like to be. I often have difficulty making friends because of how much living in that mindset for as long as I have has affected my hypothetical "aura." People know I'm a protector / healer type, but definitely not in a hugger kind of way!
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"You look like a movie star".
I was standing in a parking lot of a grocery store, and it seems this was because I had a hat and sunglasses on as far as I can tell.
"You appreciate good food."
I had many strange encounters with random people as I often look like someone they know from TV or a band. One was on a university dance ball where there was an actual minor music star - young guy. He was getting a lot of attention and I was quite envious. I complained a bit and a bit more but then suddenly random girl approached me and asked: "Can I take a picture with you?" :)
"You have the charisma of a garbage man's cologne"