Occasionally get rowdy with some light punching, has devolved into some wrestling until someone's hurt. Happens less as we have gotten older and we don't bounce up off the floor and shake it off like we used to. Hugs with other guys are limited to a friend's uncle and his husband.
this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
190 points (92.8% liked)
Asklemmy
44149 readers
1321 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
No and no. Good handshake and quick 1 handed hug is all I want.
While I don't really care if it's socially acceptable or not I found it far too awkward to hug other people for the longest time, even close friends. I have opened up to it more in the last few years but I still don't just hug someone without asking their consent first.
If I like someone, hugging them just feels great.
Yup, it depends on the person but at least in my life many male friends are physically affectionate. Admittedly some of these are affectionate via general sparring, which started in our teens and never went away.
I wish it were more acceptable, but personally I'd just rather not be touched by anyone.
Nope and yes. I would not personally, but more freedom = good in my book
Oh sure. Not all of them, certainly, but a good number of friends and I will hug to say hello/goodbye. Some of those guys prefer the handshake-bro-hug variety, others go in for the full bear hug. A handful of them, my oldest friends, are comfortable with cuddling, snuggling, or other non-hug physical contact so that'll happen on the occasions we get to see each other.
Hugging, yeah. My joints(knees, shoulders, back) are too fucked for what play wrestling is between guys, I forget that when I see my brother after a while but I get reminded right quick. No snuggling, but I'm also not usually on a couch when we hang, still probably not.
Hugging friends -- yes and easy. Snuggling -- never. And this doesn't apply only to men, it applies to women whom I don't find attractive as well.
Physical affection from someone I don't find attractive is super akward. Now I'm a cis straight male, so this principle applies to essentially all men.
P.S. OP, if you like more actual physical affection from your male friends, it's maybe just time to come out of the closet. This is lemmy, nobody is really straight around here anyways
Oh, I'm quite open and queer, but I know that not everyone is. Different cultures around the globe handle things differently, too. But I even see the difference on the more local scale, where some friends are quite physically affectionate, whereas others hug me like a frozen fence post, haha.
It's interesting that women generally are fairly physically affectionate with friends, but men kind of run the gamut depending on family and social culture. And yet, even some of the most awkward are super physically affectionate with animals and pets, sometimes even at the same event.
I find stuff like that fascinating. Cultures evolve and change, with some aspects being more seasonal, and others more glacial. :)
Snuggling -- never. And this doesn't apply only to men, it applies to women whom I don't find attractive as well.
What about nonhuman animals? Do you dislike cuddly dogs?
If they smell, no way. A cuddly cat can be enjoyable
lol
No. The hug men do is not affectionate but a greeting after a long time, comfort for bad times, or a congrats
“I’m not, and also I don’t want it to be socially acceptable” gives massive “it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t do it in public” energy.
Yeah I hug my friends most times we see each other and fight them very rarely. Most of my friends and me do not want to be cuddled but there's always that one friend who tries to be as gay as humanly possible and eventually you just accept that he's going to invade your space and be gay. For my tier 1 friends social stigma does not exist. For tier 2 it exists but can be broken and for tier 3 every interaction exists firmly within the socially acceptable boundaries and I would be extremely uncomfortable if one of them hugged or hit me with some gayshit.