this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 142 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"I should have let everyone know I accepted a bribe. Not like you'll do anything about it anyway, suckers!"

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The only Justice to be impeached in US history was Associate Justice Samuel Chase in 1805. The House of Representatives passed Articles of Impeachment against him; however, he was acquitted by the Senate.

https://www.supremecourt.gov/about/faq.aspx

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're the American Mullahs. I've been calling them that for a while and I hope it catches on eventually.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought they were Muslim clergy. What am I missing?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The Mullahs of Iran cannot be replaced no matter what they do. They are also the final arbiters on all matters.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Gotcha. That’s a fair comparison.

[–] brightandshinyobject@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I should let everyone know, I am taking bribes.

[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

"I used to take a lot of bribes and I should have let everyone know. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too."

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 10 points 1 month ago

That’s exactly how I read that title. Oh, I can see there was no need to be sneaky. Apologies.

[–] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Justice Clarence Thomas can choke on a cock.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

To be fair, any of us can choke on a cock.

[–] FiremanEdsRevenge@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You're right. Clarence has no gag reflex.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's true, I saw that man take 3 cocks at the same time.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You go to some really weird parties

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sure but he's conservative so it's pretty much a given that he's got some secret kink he's trying to cover for by telling others what they can do with their bodies. Having 3 dicks in his mouth is probably the most normal sexual act he's done in ages, instead of the usual underage amputees vomiting in his asshole or something like that

[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

God I love this conversation thread.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can see this at any billionaire party in the DC area.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Apparently you also go to some really weird parties. I never get invited to billionaire orgies :(

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And you never will, with a gag reflex like that.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

I'm still good for butt stuff though

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Not just people. The dogs we had back on the farm did a great job of protecting chickens, but every once in a while they would do the opposite and kill a chicken for themselves. I always thought it was fair. There was an instance where Lady was choking on a mouthful of feathers.

It was a peanut farm. Ironically my spouse is deathly allergic. On the bright side, it gets you out of family gatherings.

[–] BlackRing@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

That was a wild ride!

[–] seth@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Great writing! This reminds me of Amy Hempel.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 2 points 1 month ago

You are sweet. Thank you.

[–] BoxingPreacher@lemmings.world 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Okay, so when can we expect you to take off the robe and clear out? And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

I have an official reply from the Justices to your inquiry:

"lol, get fucked, pleb"

[–] BoxingPreacher@lemmings.world 1 points 1 month ago

That sounds about right...

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

"I have not yet begun to defile myself."

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 29 points 1 month ago

Oh, ok.

So, you're going to resign now, yes?

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago

South Park ISP Support Guy (while rubbing his nipples): I'm sorry. We're just so sorry.

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Shouldn't this be "…acknowledges he should not have accepted free trips from billionaire donor"?

I don't know all the intricacy of US politics, but people in position getting shit-tons of gifts in exchange of "nothing, really, just a friendly gesture" should raise some eyebrows.

[–] DarkNightoftheSoul@mander.xyz 13 points 1 month ago

"my bad bro, i forgot to tell you guys about the open notorious corruption."

-Tom "Uncomfortuncle" Clarence

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 month ago

Wait, I thought this was the onion

[–] Alenalda@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Maybe he should step down about it

[–] Rookwood@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

He knows it won't change jack shit: he can't be held accountable, and it's not like he'll magically grow a spine either

[–] recapitated@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I would be fascinated to see how this issue would be litigated up through the supreme court.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He should have drank himself to death, but alas.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

There is still time.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 5 points 1 month ago

Next time in court try:

Your honor, I “inadvertently failed to realize" ...

[–] Suavevillain@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

He is just a high ranking Sugarbaby. Get these bozos out of here.