this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 47 points 7 months ago (4 children)

If you can make it work with one other person and have a fulfilling, understanding and well-communicated relationship that gives you both a feeling of reward and healthy challenge to achieving goals for both of you, you have accomplished one of the most challenging aspects of life. It's very hard to share and open your life with another person, that person also has to be on-board with the same goals and plans. It can take a lifetime to really fine-tune a good monogamous relationship to the point that you're both functioning smoothly with each other.

And if you can do this with TWO other people, and those people ALSO can do this, that's not just an accomplishment, that's a sign you should probably buy some lottery tickets, or you're actually the protagonist in a generic anime or manga and you don't need to worry about the girls because some kind of space monster is probably going to try to kill you.

[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yes, but also some of polyamory is that not every relationship has to be "we cohabit and have kids and can deal with every single little quietly annoying thing the other does". Some relationships are focused on sex. Some are focused on breaking into aquariums together. Some are with people across the country and even though you are close it doesn't make sense to get together more than once a year. Although polyamorous relationships can look like monogamy*2, part of the point is that more focused, smaller relationships can also be romantic.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I would say most people look at the prospect of poly relationships in terms of monogamous relationships, and yeah I would expect there to be a wildly different dynamic in play for making it work with more than one partner, particularly under the same roof.

Most people look at relationships in terms of some very rigid ideals that were set millenia ago, and even though our society is changing at a breakneck speed, we're all still pining for the romance taught to us in movies and stories written centuries ago.

I think there is still a real place for traditional relationships, they are wonderful actually, but I think if we're to learn anything from people exploring multiple partner relationships, it would be that your relationship can look like a lot of different things, and no one pattern is perfect for everyone. What matters is you're with someone or people who make you happy and not longing for something else.

[–] novibe@lemmy.ml 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Just a small correction: most people look at relationships in terms of some very rigid ideals that were set a couple centuries ago at most.

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[–] coaxil@lemm.ee 3 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Tell me more about this breaking into aquariums together?

[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

What, are you a cop? No officer, I've never broken into an aquarium. Is there even an aquarium in town?

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 7 months ago

It's just something poli people do you wouldn't get it.

Fish get caught through the mouth

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[–] Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The trick is that non-monogamous relationships are not a collection of monogamous relationships where everyone has to fulfill each other's needs and desires.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Also relationships don't have to last forever. You can grow together and grow apart over time without fear of being "forever alone" when you're in a plural relationship.

[–] interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 7 months ago

I am currently in this actual situation!

It has been wild getting here, but i am married, and dating my wife's girlfriend. We're all grown, functional adults in our 30's, too!

It is delightful, and does make me feel like im a character in some really good smut, no lie. I am lucky. And happy.

[–] knightmare1147@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Surprisingly insightful for a meme post.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 45 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You can immediately spot the second fiddle in this picture.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 20 points 7 months ago

True but if I get a place to sleep and food to eat I really don't I won't get to sleep in the big bedroom most nights.

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[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 42 points 7 months ago (2 children)

There's got to be a more inclusive way for 3+ people to hug. Maybe it's my monogamous brain, but this just looks like a third wheel

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Me adding garlic to the onions that are already sizzling in the pot

[–] bitwaba@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's fine. Garlic burns really easy. You shouldn't add it until 30 seconds before you add your tomatoes, or stock, or whatever your main watery components are going to be.

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[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 9 points 7 months ago

Me introducing two of my friends and they get along really well

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 40 points 7 months ago

My dad once joked about getting a second wife like in Biblical times.

My mother replied, "good, I'll finally have someone help with the chores around here."

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sleeping with 2 girls AND both of them paying part of the rent? Count me the fuck in

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 42 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Lmao. It's going to be another dude. You know it. I know it. He knows it. 😉

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

ugh I wish I was a bi bro then I'd be in heaven either way 😩

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You don't have to be bi to be poly though.

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[–] Gigan@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Actually you'll just be alone and some chad will have 2-3 girlfriends.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well if it's too expensive to be single, suicide it is I guess 🤷‍♂️

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It doesn’t work. You just end up here again

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Boo! I want a refund, this game is broken pay 2 play bullshit!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Just moneyball the problem and get two or three boyfriends instead

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[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 32 points 7 months ago

Goals tbh. I just need to find two mommies who want to have a 5 foot tall goblin.

[–] DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

How many working wrists do you need?

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Please be AI and not what passes for Photoshop these days.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I can't unsee that noodle hand now

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 14 points 7 months ago (3 children)

James Holden, Naomi Nagata, and Clarissa Mao’s stunt doubles

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[–] Nom@lemm.ee 13 points 7 months ago

Children of gen alpha when they grow up:

alt text

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (4 children)

We all know it's usually 2+ dudes & a fat chick, though.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well, obviously. An income of 270% is better than 240%.

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[–] Trev625@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I know you're probably joking but he is me and my 2 girlfriends! https://imgur.com/a/0DEx55H

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Not joking, actually, but congratulations! Lucky lucky.

I'm friends with a poly, 2 chubby bi guys & an even fatter woman. As I said, we're friends, I don't particularly care & we talk. They recently had a baby, we hang out when they're in town.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
  • Hates fat girls

  • Wants big titty girlfriend

Recipe for an incel

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Yeah it's hard to get one without the other, isn't it?! I'm team dump truck booty. Gravity is cruel to big boobs.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Doing Communism because it's the only way to afford cost of living.

[–] Trev625@lemm.ee 3 points 7 months ago

That is definitely a benefit! It is very difficult sometimes, though.

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