this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
548 points (92.3% liked)
memes
10148 readers
1976 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
- !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Yup, I've been there.
A friend of mine from the first job I had after high school transitioned maybe ten years ago (a time gap of about twenty years).
She would get pissed that I would deadname her, and sometimes use the wrong pronouns, partially because I would meet other trans people through her and never fuck up. I kept apologizing, and explained that it isn't intentional, it's just decades of brain patterns being laid down with the old name. It took me damn near five years to totally switch over without an occasional fuckup.
It's a thing, it turns out. Even the most supportive, staunch allies have trouble switching those patterns because they're kinda etched into the brain. It happens when people make other name changes too. Happens with titles after promotions, with surnames after marriage, or just random name changes for personal preference. Name changes during transition aren't any different in the amount of time it takes to switch gears.
Doesn't really make it any easier for the trans person, of course, but at least it can help them to know it isn't intentional.