this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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IT'S PRONOUNCED CUE-MEN! SAY IT RIGHT OR DON'T SAY IT!
It would be so nice if we changed everything to be phonetically correct.
English in the Future - Steven Gearhart
Directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.
As part of the negotiations, directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers have one less letter.
There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, DaimlerKhrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
DaimlerKhrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "o", and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.
Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to us zis for all busines komunikation via DaimlerKhrysler.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
I feel like this is already happening with people texting. Lol nice one. I do think the s and c swap "shange" doesn't make as much sense. English is awkward as it is so new words might need to be made. I'd honestly rather learn a new language that was built from the ground up that included what we have learned from the world's languages.
Every few years I think of that idea, but then we might need to also account for the ease of learning for people with different language bases and the acceptance rate (because of all the nationalistic bs imo)
a
👏The hero we don't deserve. Thank you.
yeah, coz men r queuein' up to put something in the soup