this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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me_irl
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try meditation. contrary to what we're taught from birth, you CAN decide for yourself how you feel. it takes a lot of self-deprogramming, but it's worth the effort. that freedom, and the realization that this might be the only thing in life you DO have control over--the control you think you have over everything else is just an illusion. and that's fine
I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore
Do you have resources that teach you the basics of this deprogramming in a pragmatic, fact based way without too much nonsense?
i always recommend mindfulness in plain english by by Bhante Gunaratana as a start. not sure what you mean by "nonsense," but this book is just method: how to let go of things and find peace, where before we wouldn't even realize we just spent the whole day dwelling on something that irked us that morning, and can't figure out why we're so pissed off at bedtime. we're not paying enough attention to realize we're not paying enough attention. it sounds like a simple thing to fix but it's not remotely easy--people spend lifetimes working on this.
because psychology and mental processes are so subjective, it's different for everyone--the "facts" you'll find will be personal testimonies (thousands of years' worth). but there are studies if that makes it more "valid" for you.
I've always really liked Jon Kabat-Zinn. His secular view of mindfulness is very palatable for folks who aren't as much into the "woo woo" aspects of spirituality. His book Wherever You Go There You Are is a great introduction.
I'd add that part of my personal journey has been from someone who was radically anti-woo woo to someone who without judgment accepts that there are others who choose to practice different types of spirituality from me (as long as they aren't hurting others with their beliefs or practices, I'll mindfully tell those people to get fucked)
he gave a great workshop at a google retreat, back before they went complete scumlord, that i still refer people to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlIrME_R8uA
I work in mental health and have found that in general, people hate this concept. People can have difficulty tolerating the idea that they have any control over their internal experience, because the implication is that they are at least partially responsible for their negative thoughts and emotions. A lot of people will cling like crazy to blaming external factors for their condition in order to protect their ego (though not a conscious process).
The reality is the only person who has control over your internal experience is you, and research shows time and again that people's level of contentment is only partially correlated to factors like income and quality of life, because everyone gets to decide for themselves how to think and feel if they decide to.
Yes yes it's your fault your brain chemistry is imbalanced that'll be $500 pls
Thank you for providing evidence to support my point
I'm sorry I didn't do my homework of copying The Fountainhead ten times please don't yell at me anymore Dr. Medicàl Mōdel 😔
You're really good at cop outs
You could be this awesome too if you'd pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and just been less sad.
It's as simple as listening to literally any psychologist, free purveyors of a completely solved science!
I'm struggling to understand your point. You're 1) accusing me of perpetuating "the medical model," and 2) disagreeing with me that mindfulness meditation (literally a free thing you can do alone in your room) can help people take more control of their internal state? The implication here is you think more people should just be on antidepressant meds for the rest of their lives, I guess?
If your takeaway from everything I've said about mindfulness meditation helping people take some control of their thoughts and feelings is that I'm telling people to "just be less sad," you just aren't listening.
Interesting accusation, considering you just barfed up a bunch of ableist nonsense you heard from someone with a profit motive
There, I deleted the sentence where I said you're regurgitating worn out jokes. Care to respond to any of the actual thoughts I laid out? Or are you still too concerned I've been tainted by Big Buddhism
If it's not for the ego then it's simply not having the cognitive framework. I think it's more common just to not know how to make a choice or that your choices are valid. At least, that would look like the same avoidant behavior from the outside.
we're conditioned to hate this concept by capitalism. "you cannot just be happy don't be ridiculous. you need to BUY STUFF in order to be happy, otherwise you're doomed to misery 100% forever." it's deeply woven into the fabric of our whole culture, where we're comparing ourselves to everyone else all day every day.
so yea. we're taught to hate the idea that peace, happiness, contentment, etc can come from within, rather than having to "obtain" it externally (usually involving cash exchange). once this notion is thrown out the window, life becomes much simpler, smoother, less stressful
Does this stuff include psychotherapy and medication?
Most people need to work their 2nd or 3rd job to make rent and pay the bills. Which leaves little room for internal exploration, self actualization, or connection to a wider community.
mindfulness costs nothing, doesn't require any external "equipment," and can be practiced literally any time. yes, even at your 3rd job.
but it sounds like you're dead set on rejecting it outright without a second thought. ironic. woe is you, i guess?
yea. it is what it is. good luck
This shit is a lazy response to the reality of a lot of people's actual experiences and, truthfully, may as well be a postmodern signpost for the allegory of the cave.
I work in homeless services now and help meet people's very basic needs and try to get them housed. I don't need you to lecture me about people's actual experiences, I've seen the worst.
Recognizing that anyone can learn to exert more control over their own internal experience does nothing to delegitimize anyone's life experience. Not only that, I believe it empowers people.
What's funny is in my anecdotal experience, the group most resistant to the concept of mindfulness are people of privilege