this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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Amen to your final statement. A lot of people forgive family for heinous injustice because "they're family" or time passed. You need to hold people accountable for their actions and have your opinions change accordingly.
Your abusers committed terrible atrocities to you and I'm glad they don't even deserve their familial title in your description. I'm glad you have new family that deserve being considered as such.
Agreed! One of my favorite quotes has always been the old "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". We don't get to choose who are family is, but we do get to choose who are friends and those close to us are.
Just like with everyone else in my life, I hold my family to the "Respect is earned, not given" stance - not sure how I feel about the wording of that quote because it sounds like I'm saying that I'm crappy to people by default which isn't the case. Rather, I'm not going to fight to have a relationship with some of my family members if they aren't going to try to put in the effort themselves to meet me halfway.