this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
956 points (98.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27308 readers
3768 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

As the WORD of God he's the source of Proverbs and Song of Solomon so....

Her: Dark am I, yet lovely, because I am darkened by the sun - Song of Solomon 1

so.. tanned

works with eager hands... her arms are strong for her tasks - Proverbs 31

... toned forearms ..

Her: Like an apple[c] tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste - Song of Solomon 2

... not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital fellatio ...

Her: strengthen me with raisins

... .... ... nutrition aware(?) ...

Her: I am ... a lily of the valley .... My beloved ... browses among the lilies

... not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital cunnilingus ... (see also 4:16)

Him: Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely - Song of Solomon 4

... mysterious eyes ... flowing hair ... no missing teeth (lol) ... red lips ...

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

... young(?), pert, nimble breasts ...

Him: You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water

... looks at camera ...

Her: Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere

... ... my bro was definitely into some sensory stuff ...

Her: My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. - Song of Solomon 5

(authors of erotic lit take note, this is your lord and god speaking)

Him: I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom. - Song of Solomon 6

... so .. pubescent? hey, could be worse ...

Him: Your graceful legs are like jewels - Song of Solomon 7

... legs guy! ...

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

... breasts again! ...

Him: your breasts like clusters of fruit

... breasts mention number 3 ...

Him: May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine

... #4 ....

breasts ... like towers - Song of Solomon 8

... #5 ...

I think you can draw your own conclusions.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[–] frezik@midwest.social 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

By my very fundamentalist upbringing, this was all supposedly a metaphor for God's love of the nation of Israel. Which is exactly the sort of "reading between the lines" that they said you weren't supposed to do.

It's not that complicated. Solomon was horny, someone a long time ago decided his hornyness should be canon, and now biblical literalists have to deal with it and don't know how.

no missing teeth (lol)

More remarkable than you think without modern dental care.

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

It’s not that complicated. Solomon was horny, someone a long time ago decided his hornyness should be canon, and now biblical literalists have to deal with it and don’t know how.

hans landa: that's a bingo

also, not even necessarily horny, just far far less prudish, all the sensory stuff associated with sex was just far more normal

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm 51 and haven't had any dental care as an adult. I still have all of my teeth, and no pain etc. They could use a cleaning but a lot is genetics and diet. Not all of my genetics are great though, I've had autoimmune issues since I was a kid.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 1 day ago

You probably grew up brushing your teeth with modern toothpaste, and had fluoride in the water.

This isn't universally true, even today, in the United States. So says the diner in Indianapolis I went to where almost all the staff were missing teeth.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I want to commend you for some sort of prize. I can't upvote twice but I would if I could. Nice!

p.s

I'm going to take a risk and say the comparison to fawns implies not very big breast but well defined and not very much parted.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.

Guess that was considered beautiful, millennia ago.

Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone.

Cares for personal hygiene, i guess?

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.

Guess that was considered beautiful, millennia ago.

This is probably the imagery... (except dark mountain goats)

https://static.vecteezy.com/system/resources/thumbnails/028/184/284/original/a-flock-of-sheep-and-goats-walk-in-rows-along-a-summer-mountain-meadow-aerial-view-video.jpg

Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone.

Cares for personal hygiene, i guess?

More likely good health and youth to be honest, elsewhere he says her breath smells of apples (in a good way lol)..

[–] AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Well, in those times they didn't really have dentists, so having all one's pearly whites in a adulthood was not common.