this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Okay, fuck this slander. Stuart's a little bitch, but he's a clever little bitch. That mf can fly a plane, drive a car, and man a sailboat. If he just met Remy in a dark alley, Remy would probably win, but with planning on his side (especially coordinating with the humans to get him what he needs), I'm betting on Stuart. Stuart defeated a fucking falcon who was trying to kill him. Not just defeated: straight-up murdered him. Also, Stuart is an actual accepted member of society with citizenship etc. and can actually speak, whereas Remy needs to rely on other means to communicate, and like three people understand he's sapient and human-like. If this isn't a fair fight, he could easily have the humans do his dirty work for him because to them, Remy is just a vermin. He could even just sic Snowbell on him. It took the entire colony of rats to take down – by surprise – one scrawny health inspector, so don't give me that "Remy has backup too". In fact, Stewart could probably just make himself a tiny gun.
TL;DR: Remy wins if it's by surprise. Stewart probably wins with prep time if it's one-on-one. Stewart destroys Remy if they can call for backup.
Remy literally has a flesh mech and army of rats working for him by the end of the movie. Wtf are you smoking, lol?
He's got Linguini, a scrawny little 20s-something waiter. Stuart has a 15-year-old Jonathan Lipnicki who could definitely 1v1 Linguini plus two late-30s parents (even if Remy pilots him and even if the chef's hat is off for max visibility, since 1) the family will know how this works and can try to get Remy out of the hair, and 2) there'll be at least some latency in controlling him since it takes time to move the hair). Plus Stuart has no need to pilot the family and can therefore be off doing his own thing fucking around in his airplane (which he could use to shave Linguini's hair if he gets a good shot in; we've seen it literally shred a falcon). So unless Remy is actively trying to kill Stuart, using a kitchen knife against his family with Linguini, he's not going to get the upper hand. Remy has his family? Okay, have Snowbell get like a dozen cat friends and tell them it's all you can eat.
We don't know how well a Remy-piloted Linguini-mech can fight as we haven't yet seen it. This could be a Pacific Rim situation (I didn't actually see that movie, but I'm guessing it applies somehow)
Now I get why the OP is sick of this debate... This shit goes deep.
Remy can control a human being, he's gonna fuck that lil bitch up!
Huh, I always saw it the otherway-round. Linguini had had motor reactions to hair follicle stimuli. Movie has a darker perspective if Remy can hijack any person with hair.
Whenever he's got hold of those hair reins, it seems as though Linguini loses complete control of his bodily functions, and Remy is in charge. Maybe I'm misremembering, but I'm pretty sure it's what causes much of the comic mischief. If Linguini could still control his limbs, why wouldn't he just stop Remy from flailing about...
Or am I just thinking about the scene when Linguini is asleep in the kitchen and Remy is in complete control?
Now that I think more about it, by the end of the film I think it becomes more of a synergistic thing as they learn to work in concert to cook the best dish.
Which makes me believe that they could do the same thing with fighting, given enough time to train. In which case, it's no question that they would (possibly quite literally) stomp Stuart Little's whiney little bitch ass
Sure, after a 2 year training montage maybe
But what if Stuart had been adopted by Soviet Russians?
I'd love to see this as an alternate history Stuart Little film lol...