this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2024
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Sometimes it feels like a man need to feel guilty just for being a man, even if they have done absolutely nothing wrong.
I don't know in America. Here in Spain there is a trend in which to be "feminist" somehow you have to admit that you are a little sexist, because are men are sexist even a little. It is an absolute. It's not even "a majority of men.." its all, no other opinions accepted.
And if you decline that premise, and just say "I'm not sexist, I treat everyone the same despite gender" you are somehow lying and trying to hide your sexism, which makes you a bad person or something.
And I refuse that. I refuse to accept having done things that I have not done. Same I reject accepting responsibility for things I have not made or enabled. And some people still want me to accept that guilt.
That trend needs to die. I know that it creates sorority making the "all of us vs all of them" rhetoric, but my humble believe is that that path do not lead to the desired destination.
Edit: I was going to start the comment with "As a man" as it was my assigned at birth gender. But in all true and while for confort I just let most people treat me with masculine gender I just do not believe in gender as a social construct. Not that I do not believe as in I do not believe it exist, I do not believe that gender is a desirable social construct we need to keep in our society. But that's just my opinion.
We all have implicit biases, this is undeniable. Denying this doesn't make you a bad person, but you are denying reality. Having the biases doesn't make you a bad person either - again we all do. But you can't be mindful of them if you deny they exist.
As I said I reject that extremist premise.
I declare it an extremist idea because is a "Black or white" "All or nothing" thing. We all need to have those biases so "some people" feel better about themselves, one way or the other.
I do not have those biases. That's just it. The only thing I deny is a false accusation made by people that does not know me.
Because those people could came a say to me "see this behavior you had" that's a little sexist. But not, they are unable to point such behavior, they just assume it must exist, because it's part of their dogma.
I'm totally ok to just being pointed at something I made wrong and willing to correct it. But point it first. Not just assume that wrong behavior exist just because of a dogma.
And I also believe that accusing people of things they have not done just to fit a rhetoric is part of the cause of the disengagement of some collectives with the political mainstream left. Why would anyone would want to be near people that want humilliation, responsability and reparations for things one have just not done?
You are reading a lot into my comment about implicit biases that is literally just not there.
Have a good day!
I understand what you mean, and it sucks. I've been accused of being antisemitic because I post against Israeli policy and I've never cared about ethnicity or birthplace. Sometimes because I put up a post talking about supporting Jews that oppose Netanyahu's Zionism. It doesn't matter to some folks - if you have a problem with certain people it's not because of what they do or say, it's sexism, racism, etc.
Here in Canada it's not automatically assumed men are sexist. There are folks who will say that but they are a small group. I can only imagine it's maddening to have to defend yourself constantly, especially if most people won't believe you no matter what. It kind of reminds me of an old Dave Chappelle sketch (NSFW language) about being accused of sleeping with someone and having people assume it happened.